Feddie Girl

"Feddie Girl" Wins Finalist Award - USA Best Books 2010

2010-10-26T11:14:00.000-04:00

Feddie Girl, the Nigerian novel authored by Nona David, receives "Best Books 2010" Finalist Award in two categories - Chick-Lit and Multicultural Fiction

FEDDIE GIRL the international adventure/thriller detailing the experiences of an American teenager in a Nigerian (West Africa) boarding school has been presented two Best Books 2010 Finalist Awards sponsored by USA Book News.

USABookNews.com, the premiere online magazine and review website for mainstream and independent publishing houses, announced the winners and finalists of THE “BEST BOOKS 2010” AWARDS (BBA) on October 26, 2010. Over 500 winners and finalists were announced in over 140 categories covering print and audio books. Awards were presented for titles published in 2010 and late 2009, and Feddie Girl by Nona David was honored emerged as Finalist in two categories.

Winners and finalists traversed the publishing landscape: Simon & Schuster, Penguin/Putnum, Rodale, McGraw-Hill, John Wiley & Sons, Moody Publishers, American Cancer Society, Sourcebooks, Bernard Books Publishing & hundreds of independent houses.

FEDDIE GIRL - The recent double Award-Winning Finalist by author Nona David published in February of 2010 - Tells the tale of thirteen year old Carlotta Ikedi who didn't like attending her American schools, and gets into constant trouble leading to two expulsions as a result of her behavior. Seeking a solution to Carlotta's problems, her parents enroll her in a private girls school in Nigeria. Carlotta faces a culture shock unlike any that she has ever known, and faces the challenge of succeeding on her own in a strange environment. In this wonderful coming of age novel, author Nona David weaves a fine story of character, friendship, and triumph over adversity.

Nona David, the celebrated author of this Award-Winning novel, currently lives with her husband in Cincinnati Ohio. She has a passion for foreign cultures and zeal to visit new places, learn new languages, and experience new things. Her background, friends, and experiences in Nigeria, West Africa is the major influence for her debut novel, FEDDIE GIRL.

Copies of FEDDIE GIRL can be purchased from the publisher: Bernard Books Publishing https://bernardbooks.com

A Facebook Page, dedicated to the fans of this novel at http://www.facebook.com/FeddieGirl already holds over 10,000 fans and readers.

Excerpts and Reviews of this novel are available on the publisher's website https://bernardbooks.com

A complete list of the winners and finalists of the “Best Books 2010” Awards are available online at http://www.USABookNews.com

Praise for "Feddie Girl" by readers like you

2010-06-11T08:51:00.003-04:00

This book is splendid!!! I highly recommend it to everyone!!! The words flow so nicely. The story is suspenseful: you're curious about... what comes next and you just can't stop reading till the end. Hilarious!!! LOL!!!

The author certainly did a marvelous job and I'm amazed at how in-depth her research was. I could see myself as one of the characters in the book... LOL!!!
Kudos to Ms. David--the novel is a terrific read!!! Will definitely recommend to my friends.
Looking forward to a sequel...

I just read the excerpt from the novel, and my I found myself back in Fed Onitsha. all i can say is that Nona has a kind of writing style that is highly dramatic and poetic. She definitely has a way with words that seems to paint the picture as u read. i suspect this novel would fall into the category of novels that you want to know what's on the next page and u keep going on and on until u find urself on the last page. Well done Nona, the excerpt i read is really suspense filled and hilarious at the same time. One can easily fix up those characters looking back at school days hahahahahaha.

This book is just like back in school. Using our own private experiences we can attach names/faces to all the characters in the book. Lmao! We all know the "Senior Zika's" and "Senior Anita's" and all the wicked prefects like "Senior Chidi."
And the sikini's and Senior Rema's know themselves. Awesome!

this book takes me down memory lane of my days in fggc onitsha.the writer aptly described life in federal schools atleast during my own days in school.i had nostalgic feelns reading it and i dont regret all the experiences i had in school.good job by Nona David.

The author really did a great job. The book is awesome, the characters & events are very relatable. Every one who attended a feddy school in Nigeria should read it. It's really, really a must-read!!!!!

I couldn't stop laughing.... lol! THUMBS UP, NONA DAVID!

hilarious, we all had spectacular adventures, i did not know u culd write a book on that??!! ha ha ha lol!!

The novel is awesome, I really enjoyed it. I'm now waiting for Feddie Girl 2. Hope it comes out soon.

Keep up the good work.

Feddie Girl... def leaves an impression

I'm currently reading this novel - Feddie Girl - It's really awesome! Luv it!

This book takes me down memory lane of my days in fggc onitsha.the writer aptly described life in federal schools atleast during my own days in school.i had nostalgic feelns reading it and i dont regret all the experiences i had in school.good job by Nona David.

This book rocks! For those of you who haven't read the American novel "Feddie Girl" by Nona David...

One can not afford to miss reading dis novel

Absolutely loving Feddie girl.

Just got Feddie girl n loving it. I live here in cincinnati and I am myself a feddie girl (Federal Government Girls college Sagamu).

Thanks for writing this book. Would definitely spread the word.

As a prospective novelist, I believe that I know what a grand novel can be. Feddie Girl, by Nona David is a well plotted novel with real stories précised from a background of Nigeria. Today, our stories are now wholly written and constructed and Nona David has showed it again in her novel- Feddie Girl.

Although I didn’t attend a Federal school in Nigeria, but I now understands what it is to be called a ‘feddie girl.’ For those of you who attended Federal Government colleges in Nigeria, this novel should be a must read!

I've read the book and it's simply amazing!! A must read for all those who attended boarding school in Nigeria.

Critics say the novel is brilliant and reviewers and all those who have read it absolutely love it.

The author dedicated the book to all Feddy alumni. It's so awesome!

Trust me, as ex-feddy students, you will absolutely love and relate to the events in this book, you'll think you're right there with the characters, living and breathing with them. Lol!

The novel is written for adults and reads like a thriller/international adventure with humor and romance thrown in. The sub-plots alone will blow you away! Lol!

A big thank you to Nona David the author of FEDDIE GIRL for the wonderful thought of writing a novel that will help all ex-feddie students remember those good old days in boarding school.

We the fans of Feddie Girl appreciate your efforts.

Seriously feddie girl has got to be the best nigerian literature I have read .. I luv it.....

my feddie girl is here..... i am sooo romancing this book tonight !!!

Hmnn this is really exciting and great! I can't wait to read this book.

I love your blogs and the excerpts of Feddie Girl. They remind me so much of my own experiences. I think it is a brillaint idea to write about Feddy school. Thanks, and please keep it up! PRO UNITATE!
HAS ANYONE READ THE BLOGS YET? LOL!

I'm just loving this!

So interestin! I really enjoyed myself.

.......You're just too much.

A great novel!!! Teenage kids need to learn from the on start that the world doesn't revolve exclusively around them. Nigerian boarding school has a way of clipping wings and putting way-ward kids back in line. LOL!!!

As a veteran of a Federal school in Nigeria, I can very well relate to the characters in this book. Highly recommended!!!

I loved the book, too!

I hv only read few pages and am already in love wt it.

The book is a must read oooo!!!!!

Two hands in the air for Nona David!

WE KNOW WAT LYF IS ALL ABOUT,WE D FEDDIE GIRLS.IM A FEDDIE BABE N AM SO PROUD OF THIS BOOK!!!

The novel is captivating... I just couldn't stop laughing. It's a must-read!!!

I am proud of this bk 2 hun.i reali do mis fedigboks nd al our clasmates

Feddie gurl! Hmm it wasn't easy oh. The bk really brought back good old memories.

Luv da book and am happy to be a feddie gurl.,,,cheers

Once started I didn't want to stop reading the book!

I really love the novel... I can't wait for book 2..... lolllllll

mehn!!!!! cant wait for da book 2

I, for one, am waiting for the sequel. The events in the novel wowed me. I'm definitely impressed!!! This book is a must-read!!!

I've read the whole book. It sounds just like Feddy Owerri. I'm really impressed......

the novel is amazing

FEDDIE GIRL,you de beeeeeeeeeeee in fact the book is nice

...After reading through this book it reminded me of when I had to leave the UK at a young age to attend high School in Nigeria and I also shared, in a way the same experience as “Carlotta Ikedi” did in the book Feddie Girl...

The novel is truly fantastic... I really luv it!!!!!

Thanks, i love the novel

i love your book

what an interesting book, reminds me of the good old days in FGGC.i wish all FGGC gals can get to read this. thanks author!

The author really did a marvelous job. The events are suspense-filled and hilarious at the same time. One can easily see themselves as one of the characters and take a fun peek back into school days. Amazing...!!!

About the book:

Book Title: Feddie Girl: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School
Author: Nona David
Publisher: Bernard Books Publishing, Ohio, USA https://bernardbooks.com
Date Published: February 28, 2010
Type: US Trade Paperback
Page No: 400
ISBN: 978-0-9824526-0-8

Back Blurb:
Carlotta Ikedi (A.k.a Feddie Girl) has never liked school. Not in California. Not in Oklahoma. When her exasperated parents ship her off to boarding school–in West Africa–Carlotta faces a life, culture, and existence unlike anything she’s ever known.
School rules and regulations, rising bell, lights-out, manual labor, inspections, dining time, prefects, punishments, mean bunkmates, and visiting days–it’s all here. But author Nona David takes Carlotta’s story a step further when her adventures lead to unfortunate incidents that threaten to drive her American family into the clutches of infidelity and organized crime.
Boarding school doesn’t get any better than this…
For those who have experienced the boarding school life, the adventures of Feddie Girl will bring those memories crashing back… For anyone else, get ready to see the world as Feddie Girl.

About the Author:
Nona David currently lives with her husband in Cincinnati Ohio. She has a passion for foreign cultures and zeal to visit new places, learn new languages, and experience new things. Her background, friends, and experiences in Nigeria, West Africa are the major influence for her debut novel, FEDDIE GIRL.

Where to purchase:
1. From the Publisher https://bernardbooks.com
2. LAGOS: 08023226389, 08023002049, 08098012049
3. ABUJA / KADUNA / JOS / KANO: 08066370106
4. PORT HARCOURT / OWERRI / ABA / CALABAR: 08037974482
5. ENUGU / NSUKKA / ONITSHA /ASABA: 08030908351

Read a sample of the novel on https://bernardbooks.com/FeddieGirlExcerpts.html

Life as a Feddy Girl

2010-05-10T10:43:00.018-04:00

This is the continuation of an older post:

"The Feddie Girl School Life..."

You know, just between you, me, and the gist in the "Feddie Girl" novel, the girls in this picture could have been Senior Zika (my bunkie), Senior Shade (my bunkie's friend), and Senior Anita (my dormitory prefect). Aren't they such darlings?

You think the fourth girl could have been me, with the grinning teeth and cute freckles?

You wish! Haha...

Jeez! Was I bestowed with this many freckles in the novel? Oh, well...

Hey, guess what you get when you're thirteen? Freckles! Lol!

All right, back to the gist.

So we have successfully established a couple of things about Feddy Girls:

1. Living the Feddy life involves a lot of spunk and hard work.

2. Feddy Girls are a unique make of ladies who take pride in themselves, and would jump through hoops to maintain their Feddy status.

You know, right from the first day I stepped foot in a Nigerian Federal School (reluctantly, at first), I've always wondered what it really meant to be a "Feddy Girl." After spending several weeks in the dormitory of a Feddy School, surrounded by many other female students, the realization suddenly hit me:

Uniqueness.

That's it! The ultimate aim of any Feddy Girl is to be set apart in the midst of other females. I realized early on that this was a thing of status. To be regarded as a Feddy Girl is a highly-regarded status earned by hard work, ingenuity, dedication, and merit. It starts, first of all, with being enrolled in a Nigerian Federal School, definitely, but involves a whole lot more.

You would expect, of course, for all students enrolled within a given school at a certain period of time to look, act, or speak alike in a broad sense per se, right? Sure! But this is hardly the case with students enrolled in Feddy schools. You see, it's all about uniqueness. Feddy Girls are generally alike, yes, but at the same time, they are really very unique in their own individual way. That, in my ultimate understanding, is what truly earns them the prestige of being Feddy Girls.

Please don't grill me on how many months of critical observation it took to arrive at this eureka-like conclusion. Lol! But, think about it. You'll know I'm right.

Okay, so ask yourself, "What makes a female student enrolled in a Nigerian Federal school a Feddy Girl?"

Here's an idea...

Imagine you're a student about to return to boarding school after the long holidays, and you need to equip yourself with a pair of school sandals. Brown, flat sandals is the norm for all secondary schools in Nigeria, isn't it? Okay, so what you and most other students would surely look like something depicted below:

So, you think a Feddy Girl would return to school with feet encased in these kind of sandals? Uh-uh, not Feddy Girls. What you have above does not quite capture the Feddy spirit--every Feddy Girl knows that. So, instead of the above, be prepared to be wowed by the creative shopping spirit Feddy Girls are endowed with. Take a look a the sandals below:

Ahah! Now we're talking! ...Ehm, forgive the Ahah! expression, thought I'd borrow it from my form master ;) You know the likes of him--teachers who like to give same expression every couple of sentences. Mr. Dubem's his name, and he's a nice guy, really, even with the lazy eye, lack of height, and Ahah! thingy. Lol!

Anyway, I believe you're now getting my drift about the uniqueness of Feddy Girls.

Another idea...

How about foot slippers to complement those interesting-looking day-wears we talked about in the last blog, huh? If you think any Feddy Girl will allow her feet be caught in any flip-flop looking like what's in the picture below, you definitely need to start churning out more thoughts.

The flip-flops above are a definite no-no to Feddy Girls. Gosh, get a load of the flower-patterned print, and the stripped ones hanging from a clothesline... Lol! Not that there's anything wrong with them. It's just that they're not quite suited to the taste of Feddy Girls--far from it, actually.
What Feddy Girls would rather strut around the dormitories in will certainly look more like what's in the picture below:

And the more daring Feddy Girls will definitely have the audacity to tout something like the ones given below around the dormitory.

These slippers, of course, would have set them back some serious cash, but hey, who cares; so long as it represents, right? Yup, right!
Seriously, I really do know a senior student who returned to school with something like the one in the last picture above. Totally! Lol!

Okay, so that almost completes the boarding school attire: School uniforms, day-wears, school sandals, and dormitory slippers. So how about we pick this up next time with games-wear?
Yeah, you know, games-wear--the outfit for gym and sports? How creative do you think Feddy Girls are with that?

Just stick around to find out.

...And don't miss grabbing a copy of the Feddie Girl novel by Nona David. Available at Amazon.com and from the publisher: Bernard Books Publishing

The novel is also available in Nigeria. See https://bernardbooks.com/gpage1.html for details of where/how to purchase a copy.

Feddie Girl Book 2 also coming soon! Stay tuned.

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

The Feddie School Life...

2010-04-13T20:30:00.004-04:00

Being a Feddy Girl and living the Feddy school life is not as easy as one may envision. In truth, you need to have lived the life in order to fully understand what it entails.

You see, Feddy Girls always need to "represent." And by this, I mean to always portray the full potential of their Feddiness at all times.

Every Feddy Girl understands this.

"Aren't Federal schools just like any other boarding school?" you ask in a perplexed manner, peering at me with those cute eyes of yours.

Of course not! Feddy Girls are different, distinct in their manner, choice of attire, way of speaking, and general comportment. At least the female students of Nigerian Federal schools are.

The thing is, Feddy Girls take pride in who they are; always seeing the best in themselves--an attitude that lasts well after they leave the boarding school, I must say.

And so goes the saying: Once a Feddy Girl, always a Feddy Girl.

"So what makes Feddy Girls so different?" You ask this question while considering whether to sit or stand, not knowing if my argument holds water.

Well, I'll let you be the judge of that. But first, you gotta hear me out. Deal?

Okay, here we go...

1. School Uniforms

All Nigerian Secondary Schools require their students be unified by a uniform that serves as a signature or symbol of the schools primary colors, which also helps identify students of the school anywhere at any given time.

Now, a school can choose the primary uniform colors of say, White Blouse and Black Skirt, and one would expect the finished look to appear as shown in these photos:

"Right," you agree. "That's what I'd certainly expect of a school uniform."

Exactly!

But, you see, even though the above is what is expected, it's definitely not what you'd get from a Feddy Girl.

Because students are allowed to make their own uniforms at home, what they'd finally come up with will still be the same "Black Skirt and White Blouse" stipulated by the school, only instead of drab and dowdy, the Feddie Girls would spice things up a bit.
The final outcome would be something you'll swear you've seen on a mannequin posed behind a dress-shop window somewhere. Just like in the photo below:

Lol!!! Okay, I exaggerated a little, but lose the high-heels, belt, and handbags and you'll arrive at the final picture. Or may be... Oh well, you get the idea. Moving on.

2. School Day-Wear

Just like the uniforms, every boarding school also issues day-wears to student boarders, and stipulates the color, design, cloth material, etc, that goes into making them. Some schools even base the colors for the day-wears on the colors of the school houses or dormitories the students belong to.

"Fine," you retort. "I can see how that makes sense." You finally decide I have a point to my whole Feddy angle and take a seat.

"Left over pizza's in the refrigerator," I inform you, before getting back to the gist.

Okay, where most boarding school students are made to trot around in a boring one-color check material, Feddy Girls, on the other hand, get to sample fashionable day-wears. Truth be known, same design is supposed to be the norm in any boarding school, but who pays attention to day-wear rules?

Certainly not Feddy Girls!

The day-wear designs many Feddy Girls return to school with will definitely pop your eyes out.
The ones with pretty legs make the skirts short.
Those with nice figures make the bodice clingy.
Tall girls introduce a split down the front, back, side, you name it--basically anywhere on the skirt that'll allow maximum showcasing of their long limbs as they glide about.
As for the busty girls--oh, jeez!--let's not even go there. Thank you!

At the end of the day, whereas the "issued day-wear design" is supposed to look like a grand-mother nightgown made entirely out of checkered material, what you'd get from a typical Feddy Girl will look as in photos below:

Cute, right? Told you so. Feddy Girls are just amazing. Lol!

"Carlotta, is that you in the photo?" you ask, all wide-eyed with awe. "Long, curly, brown hair; blue blouse for your House color; preening in front of a mirror?"

"Yeah, right... You wish!" I smile impishly and refuse to say anything more on the subject. Moving on.

"Hey, Carly, do I hear your mom calling?" you say, giving me a pointed look.

Er... Oh yeah, it's almost dinner time. I totally forgot. Guess I'll pick up this gist next time with Feddy Girls and foot wears, so stick around.

...And don't miss the Feddie Girl novel by Nona David. Available from the publisher: Bernard Books Publishing

Feddie Girl Book 2 also coming soon!

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

Everything's not what it seems -- Richard Ikedi

2010-03-27T11:40:00.005-04:00

I am Richard Ikedi, a medical professional, and also a loving father to my little girl Carlotta (A.k.a Feddie Girl).

Am I a loving and faithful husband? You decide.

In the recent novel Feddie Girl by Nona David, I was portrayed as a notorious womanizer, one who could hardly ever keep his pants zipped up. Yeah, right...

But did I really do anything wrong? You decide.

You see, it's all a matter of perspective and personal judgment. The fact that one chooses not to discuss certain marital topics with one's spouse hardly makes one unfaithful, does it? You tell me.
How then can I be labeled "The Unfaithful Husband" if there's no physical proof that I had any intimate relations with a woman other than my loving wife?

Let's take Tiger Woods for example, a fellow multicultural and married guy just like myself. Would you label him "unfaithful" before you had enough physical evidence? Hardly.

Well then, why me?

'Cause my wife (Shelley) says so?

Very well then, you tell me: Is Shelley really the angel she's been making herself out to be? See what I mean? Who is the actual victim here? Me, or my wife?

One of the good things my profession as a physician has taught me is that life is not always mapped out in white or black. Sometimes we get shades of gray here and there. Whether you decide to see a shade of grey as white or black totally depends on you.

Sometimes, we, as human beings, see things that are not there. We force ourselves to read complex meanings into the simplest of things. We burden our marriages with a lot of what-ifs so much so that we fail to see that which is genuine and borne out of love.

However, no matter what stand we take concerning life's gray areas, we should always remember that everything is not what it seems.

Read excerpts of this novel (Feddie Girl) and obtain a copy, visit: https://bernardbooks.com
To buy in Nigeria, please visit https://bernardbooks.com/gpage1.html for more info.

Watch out for the sequel, Feddie Girl 2. Coming soon to Bernard Books Publishing.

Feddie Girl's Mom Speaks Out -- Judge me not...

2010-03-20T12:55:00.008-04:00

"Until you have been in my shoes, you have no right to judge me..." says Shelley Ikedi, mother of the renowned Feddie Girl.

I understand my peers are skeptical of my reasons to send my only child off to a boarding school located in Nigeria. But I wonder, is your skepticism rooted in dislike for the country, the boarding school of choice, or just the idea of boarding school?

Tell me, what have you got against Nigeria? I am a Caucasian, married to a guy of Nigerian-American descent. Based on this, if I were to choose a country to send my daughter to school in, is it a wonder that Nigeria tops the list? Her dad being from there? Where she has family and blood relations?

As for the chosen school itself, if you attended one of the Federal Schools in Nigeria and think there are more prestigious boarding schools located anywhere within the country, please do not hesitate to call my attention to them.
From what I know, the Federal Government Colleges are highly recommended and the well-placed social status of most veterans of Nigerian Federal Schools definitely speaks for itself. That being the case, is it a wonder I want my daughter to be one of them? To hone good behavior and secure a prestigious place in the society of tomorrow?

How about the idea of 'Boarding School'? Why would anyone have a problem with that? As a parent, if you have an un-ruly child on your hands and have tried pretty much everything else to get her back on the right track and failed, what else can you do?

"Have you tried showing her love?" you ask, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

Love?

And I ask you: Do you have a teenage kid? Have you ever tried dealing with a rebellious teen who has no regard for you and others, or has absolutely no compunction for the pain she has caused others? No? Well then, until you get to that stage and pass it with flying colors, I reserve the right to remain silent.

Carlotta's father and I are very nurturing, loving, and proud parents. But there comes a time in every parent's life when a difficult decision has to be made. If you have a thirteen year old who suddenly turns violent and starts smoking and stacking up condoms in her bedroom dresser, then the time may have come for desperate measures.

I love my daughter without reservation. I did what I could to turn her from the rebellious teen she was fast becoming into a responsible human being. It was difficult, but I had no other choice. Nothing else seemed to work.
Now, having spent close to a year in a good boarding school in Nigeria, my daughter returned to the United States a changed person. So tell me:

Does not the end justify the means in this case?

And what's more? Carlotta loved the school, made new friends, and is itching to return to boarding house, and nothing her dad or I can say will make her change her mind.

So, unless you have been in my shoes and experienced what I did, and in the same circumstances, please judge me not.

Read excerpts of the novel (Feddie Girl) and obtain a copy: https://bernardbooks.com
To buy in Nigeria, please visit https://bernardbooks.com/gpage1.html for more info.
Or buy from Amazon.com.

Watch out for the sequel, Feddie Girl 2. Coming soon to Bernard Books Publishing.

SOLD OUT!!! And The Feddie Gist Continues...

2010-03-14T20:52:00.056-04:00

Now that the first series of Feddie Girl is completely sold out, we are ready to move on to the next stage: A sequel!
Yes, of course, the sequel (Feddie Girl 2) and The Poker Legend (Read Preview) will be hitting the shelves later this year.

First of all, a big thank you to all those who read and/or reviewed this novel, both in Nigeria, US, UK, Canada, and all other countries. The novel was in very high demand, and the copies sold a lot faster than anticipated, with readers still asking for more. Wow!!!

For those of you who couldn't grab copies before it sold out, you may still be able to get the emergency copies kept on reserve by the Publisher for situations such as these. (Price $19.99; Only at the publisher's website. Not available anywhere else! https://bernardbooks.com)

To mark the start of a new season on this blog, we shall be hearing a bit from my parents (Shelley and Richard). They have some issues that definitely need addressing. Don't you just love it when parents have "issues"?

Did I just catch you rolling your eyes to high heavens? Jeez!

Yeah, Shelley and Richard (ehm, sorry, I meant Mommy and Daddy) definitely have something to iron out, right here... Lol! Be sure to hang around 'cos this is one saga you don't wanna miss.

Till then, I'd like to say "Thank you" once again for the attention - you all are the reason for my being here.

And, yes, you got that right. I'll definitely be going back for seconds--back to boarding school with me. Kinda looking forward to it, too.

Crazy, right? Yeah, I know. I gotta have my revenge!

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

Book Review: FEDDIE GIRL by Nona David

2010-03-01T06:47:00.005-05:00

Review written by Tayo Sogbanmu; UK

With an amazing ability to capture the very vibrant detail in the culture of the Nigerian people, Nona David takes you on a journey with Feddie Girl.

Carlotta, a mixed-race American teen sent to Nigeria at the demand of her also mixed-race father with Nigerian heritage, is opened up to a whole new civilization, which she deems a far cry from what she calls home. Given her situation and what she sees as a severe predicament, she gives up on any hope of being able to survive, but just in time discovers newly found friendships, an instinct of adaptation and a strength filled with maturity she never believed she had.

As the story unfolds it matures in a way one may not have expected, as both Richard and Shelly (Carlotta’s parents) must also take a journey of their own, that if not traveled with caution, could cost them both the very family they are trying so hard to keep together.

Nona gives great and accurate insight into the life of boarding school in Nigeria, the character and humour of the Nigerian people, and a detailed scope into the diversity that resides in the country.
From the description of the vibrant streets of Lagos; and the constant chatter of Carlotta’s class mates that will have you laughing away; to the mention of some of Nigeria’s well known delicacies; Feddie Girl will allow you to explore and visualize the very ground of Nigeria, doing so in a way that is true and definitely not sugar coated.

An extract from “Feddie Girl”:

Lagos, Nigeria.

Everything and everyone make up the beauty of Lagos!

It’s no wonder everyone wants to come to Lagos.

A true mix of different people of different Nationals:

Different traits, tribes, races and languages;

The Igbo’s, Yoruba’s and Hausa’s.

This is the mystery of Lagos;

A city we call home.

Eko for sure!

Eko for life!

Eko o ni baje!

How to purchase this novel:

1. From publisher (Bernard Books Publishing):
https://bernardbooks.com
{Currently offering a Buy One Get One FREE Promo -- Ends Feb 28th 2010. }

2. From Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com

3. Buy in NIGERIA:
See details and contact info for our Sales Agents in Nigeria:

https://bernardbooks.com/gpage1.html

Feddie Girl Book Review by Susan Cook

2010-02-22T10:17:00.003-05:00

Posted by Susan Cook to the blog site "Stay At Home Mom"
http://www.sahmsue.com/2010/02/book-review-feddie-girl-by-nona-david.html

The book is about a thirteen year old girl named Carlotta, who because of some bad behavior in school, is sent to a boarding school. Her parents send her to a Nigerian Federal School.

The author writes with such clarity that you feel as if you are there with them, and you know how Carlotta feels as a teen trying to adapt to living in a boarding school in another country.

When her mother drops her off at the boarding school she tells her that if she does well after one year she can return home. Carlotta realized very early into her boarding school stay that when one mistake is made the consequences can last for a long time. She chose to work hard so she could go back home at the end of the year.

Boarding school life is something that takes some getting used to Carlotta soon finds. Carlotta had always depended on her mother for everything. She had never bothered to do her own laundry, do dishes, tidy her own room. She had left everything to her parents. She soon finds out that life is different in a boarding school.

As if the school rules, regulations, rising bells and other ways of dormitory life weren't enough, author Nona David takes Carlotta's story a step further. You find out through a sub-plot another reason her parents sent her to the boarding school.

I would recommend "Feddie Girl" from teens to adults, who like good fiction. This is a very exciting book, and was very interesting.

How to purchase this novel:

1. From publisher (Bernard Books Publishing):
https://bernardbooks.com/links.html

2. From Amazon.com

3. Buy in NIGERIA:
Contact our Sales Agents directly in Nigeria:

LAGOS = 08023226389, 08023002049, 08098012049
ABUJA/JOS/KADUNA = 08066370106
PORT-HARCOURT/OWERRI/ABA = 08037974482
ENUGU/NSUKKA/ONITSHA = 08030908351

See the full review on "Stay At Home Mom"
http://www.sahmsue.com/2010/02/book-review-feddie-girl-by-nona-david.html

Read excerpts of this novel and other reviews at https://bernardbooks.com/gpage.html

Book Review: Feddie Girl by Nona David

2010-02-15T06:18:00.002-05:00

Review posted by Susan Buetow on the blog site Scraps of Life

What an exciting book! I wanted to read this book to see if it would be appropriate for my teens to read. Well it is! The book is about Carlotta Ikedi, angry, pampered, spoiled, bored, attention seeing young teen who was kicked out of school, again. She was sent to a boarding school in Nigeria (Father is from there) to help straighten her out! Her parents were dealing with potential affairs and drinking problems. I felt as though they were responsible for the trouble their daughter was in. At first I thought that the decision to send her away was a bit extreme. The book goes on with a sub plot to explain why she was sent away so far from home.

This young lady was sent to a school where she would no longer have her clothes laid out for her! I thought she proved herself to be a very responsible young lady. She made good choices to stay out of trouble, control her temper and to try new things. She is a very determined and strong-willed girl. Carlotta realized very early into her boarding school stay that when one mistake is made the consequences can last for a long time. She chose to work hard so she could go back home at the end of the year.

She also learned that judging others, being cruel to others is not a good thing. She got a taste of this and came to realize this is the way she treated others, too. She was shocked by how pleasant people were to their parents and authority. She came to accept this way of life, too.

Before I say too much about this book and give away every thing in it, I do recommend this book for teens and adults. Once started I didn't want to stop reading the book! I was disappointed at how quickly the book came to an end. The last 10-12 pages quickly wrapped up all the loose ends and twist and turns. This is typical of me to not want a book to end. If the book has well developed characters I get attached to them and sad when a book ends! Feddie Girl has strong, developed characters. I enjoyed reading about the food and culture of Nigeria.

https://bernardbooks.com/gpage1.html

See the full review on "Scraps of Life"

Read excerpts of the novel and other reviews at https://bernardbooks.com/gpage.html

Feddie Girl — Review by Cindy Chan

2010-02-10T08:23:00.005-05:00

Posted by Cindy Chan to the blog site "I Love Book Gossip"
http://juniperrbreeeze.blogspot.com/2010/01/feddie-girl-by-nonadavid.html

The moment I received this book, I dove right into it. The writing is well formed and the plot is very unique. I enjoyed reading this book very much.
The main character starts to grow on you and her progression grows as the book does. It was very interesting to see what Carlotta saw in the different culture and how she adapted to them. What was interesting to me was that, the author was able to show us a family that was ordinary but with there inner issues. You have the parent who doesn't have time for their child, and you have the child who isn't so perfect.
Overall, the author was able to capture what a real family looks like in present day. Also, the education in West Africa really captured my attention. The schooling is a bit different from education in America.
If you enjoy woman's fiction with a touch of adventure, then you would love Feddie Girl.

How to purchase this novel:

1. From publisher (Bernard Books Publishing):
https://bernardbooks.com/links.html
{Currently offering a Buy One Get One FREE Promo -- Ends Feb 28th 2010. }

2. From Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0982452608/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&qid=1257266294&sr=1-1&condition=new

3. Buy in NIGERIA:
See details and contact info for our Sales Agents in Nigeria:

https://bernardbooks.com/gpage1.html

See the full review on "I Love Book Gossip"
http://juniperrbreeeze.blogspot.com/2010/01/feddie-girl-by-nonadavid.html

Read excerpts of the novel and other reviews at https://bernardbooks.com/gpage.html

Vicki Newell's review of "Feddie Girl"

2010-02-02T06:49:00.001-05:00

Posted by Vicki Newell to the blog site "Reading at the Beach"
http://www.readingatthebeach.com/2010/01/review-feddie-girl.html

What a fun read this is! Some of the situations that come up very unexpected and are full of suspense, while others hilarious.
I loved how the author brought so many aspects of living at a boarding school in West Africa into the book.
The author writes with such clarity that you feel as if you are there with them, and you know how Carlotta feels as a teen trying to adapt to living in a boarding school in another country. Most of the other students treat her good, but 2 of them go out of their way to be awful to her.
This is a whirlwind of a book and you won't want to put it down until the last word.

How to purchase this novel:

1. From publisher (Bernard Books Publishing:
https://bernardbooks.com/links.html
{Currently offering a Buy One Get One FREE Promo --Don't miss this!}

2. From Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0982452608/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&qid=1257266294&sr=1-1&condition=new

3. Buy in NIGERIA:
Contact our Sales Agents directly in Nigeria:
LAGOS = 08023226389, 08023002049, 08098012049
ABUJA/JOS/KADUNA = 08066370106
PORT-HARCOURT/OWERRI/ABA = 08037974482
ENUGU/NSUKKA/ONITSHA = 08030908351

See the full review on "Reading at the Beach"
http://www.readingatthebeach.com/2010/01/review-feddie-girl.html

Read excerpts of the novel and other reviews at https://bernardbooks.com/gpage.html

Promo: Buy One Get One FREE!!!

2010-01-20T10:06:00.003-05:00

Hi all,

You can't beat this deal! Check it out. For a limited time only, if you order a copy of "Feddie Girl" by Nona David directly from the publisher, you get a second copy absolutely FREE.

That means you get one for yourself, and one for a friend or family member or for me :)

"Yeah right," you say, "why would I wanna give you my free copy?"

Oh well, it was worth a try :) Give it to your sister, friend, cousin, or colleague. Forget about me...

Seriously, if you buy one copy, you'll get a second copy FREE. You won't get this deal anywhere else -- not on Amazon, not on Barnes & Noble, not on eBay. Only directly from the publisher.

All orders ship within 12hrs and it takes 3-5 days to get to US locations and 6-10 days for international locations.

*Please, this promo is not valid for purchases made in NIGERIA. Price for the novel in Nigeria is currently N2500 (already at 24% off. Was N3300). Click here for where to buy in Nigeria.

Now is your chance to save, so hurry!

Feddie Girl: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School
An international adventure/thriller detailing the experiences of an American teenager in a Nigerian (West Africa) boarding school. This novel offers a unique reading experience--witty, fun, and exhilarating. The masterful suspense, action, and sub-plot will curl your toes, keep you reading all night, and leave you thirsting for more.

Author: Nona David
Publication Date: February 2010
Copyright: July 2009
Type: US Trade Paperback
Page No: 400
Price: $19.99 (US); £14.05 (UK); $26.10 (CAN); €18.82 (EUR); $28.80 (AUS)
ISBN: 978-0-9824526-0-8
SAN: 858-2041
Deal: Buy One Get One FREE (For a limited time only)

BACK BLURB:

Carlotta Ikedi (A.k.a Feddie Girl) has never liked school. Not in California. Not in Oklahoma. When her exasperated parents ship her off to boarding school–in West Africa–Carlotta faces a life, culture, and existence unlike anything she’s ever known.

School rules and regulations, rising bell, lights-out, manual labor, inspections, dining time, prefects, punishments, mean bunkmates, and visiting days–it’s all here. But author Nona David takes Carlotta’s story a step further when her adventures lead to unfortunate incidents that threaten to drive her American family into the clutches of infidelity and organized crime.

Boarding school doesn’t get any better than this…

For those who have experienced the boarding school life, the adventures of Feddie Girl will bring those memories crashing back… For anyone else, get ready to see the world as Feddie Girl.

Reviews and Praise for Feddie Girl:

~ I highly recommend the memorable and intriguing book Feddie Girl: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School by Nona David, as a coming of age tale that takes on fairy tale proportions. Author Nona David weaves a fine story of character, friendship, and triumph over adversity. --Wayne Hulbert

~ FEDDIE GIRL is an adventure that will have you laughing until tears roll down your face, gasping in shock, or shaking your head back and forth, unbelieving what is happening. Character building, world development, and seamless writing have Nona David on the path straight to the top. --Wendy Hines

~ It is interesting to learn of the different cultures and behaviors, especially of teens. The colorful characters will keep you turning the pages, and I enjoyed the very fitting ending. --Jill Page

~ Nona David has created a well-written and entertaining work of fiction, with the story taking wild and complicated turns. Feddie Girl was unique with its multicultural blend, offering many readers a glimpse of another world many would rarely see. --Evie Alexis

~ I couldn't put it down! Really, who would have thought that a book about a Nigerian boarding school would be so interesting? --Weny Wallach

Read excerpts of this novel at https://www.bernardbooks.com/FeddieGirlExcerpts.html

Feddie Girl by Nona David -- Book Review by Wayne Hurlbert

2009-12-09T12:45:00.003-05:00

Review posted by Wayne Hurlbert to Blog Business World

Feddie Girl: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School

By: Nona David

Published: July 2009
Format: US Trade Paperback, 400 pages
ISBN: 978-0-9824526-0-8
Publisher: Bernard Books Publishing

Thirteen year old Carlotta Ikedi didn't like attending her American schools, and was in constant trouble, and was often expelled for her behavior. Seeking a solution to Carlotta's problems, her parents enroll her in a private girls school in Nigeria. Carlotta faces a culture shock unlike any that she has ever known, and faces the challenge of succeeding on her own in a strange environment. In the wonderful coming of age novel Feddie Girl: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School, author Nona David weaves a fine story of character, friendship, and triumph over adversity.

Nona David develops several important themes in the book including the interaction of the girls attending the West African school. As an American, Carlotta is termed a Feddie Girl by the other students, and as such occupies a special niche in the school. The students do not always treat one another well, and as a result, friction does take place. Carlotta must learn how to navigate the unfamiliar customs and rigid rules and punishments practiced in the school. Her recognition that she must take care of herself, and not depend on others helps her to cope with the different culture. At the same time, she develops important friendships and shares mutual support with several other girls.

Carlotta begins her Nigerian school career with her bad attitude firmly in place. Over time, the spoiled American girl becomes independent and reaches out to others. Her character grows along with her acceptance of the school and its students, mores, and rules. The story follows the evolution of Carlotta from her beginnings as a troubled youth to responsible young woman. Her initial concern is only for herself, but as she gets to know and understand Nigeria and its people, she changes her opinion from intense dislike to one of understanding and love.

I highly recommend the memorable and intriguing book Feddie Girl: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School by Nona David, as a coming of age tale that takes on fairy tale proportions. In the exile of Carlotta to her father's home country of Nigeria, leaving her parents and their troubled marriage behind, Carlotta is transformed as a person. She starts her journey of self discovery with bitterness and disappointment and becomes one with her new surroundings and the people of Nigeria. The scenes in the book are memorable, and the characters stay with the reader long after the book ends.

Read the fascinating and enjoyable adventure novel Feddie Girl: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School by Nona David, and transport yourself in both place and time to a private girls school in West Africa. Become entwined in the main plot and in the many interwoven subplots that give this novel its richness. Spend some time with Feddie Girl Carlotta, and share her sorrows and enjoy her triumphs as she becomes part of the school social fabric.

How to purchase this novel:

1. From publisher (Bernard Books Publishing): https://bernardbooks.com/links.html

2. From Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0982452608/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&qid=1257266294&sr=1-1&condition=new

3. Buy in Nigeria: https://bernardbooks.com/news.html

See the full review on "Blog Business World"

FEDDIE GIRL: A Review by Wendy Hines

2009-11-27T19:21:00.002-05:00

Posted by Wendy Hines to the blog site "Wendy's Minding Spot"

http://mindingspot.blogspot.com/2009/11/feddie-girl-hilarious-adventures-of.html

... FEDDIE GIRL is an adventure that will have you laughing until tears roll down your face, gasping in shock, or shaking your head back and forth, unbelieving what is happening.
It's an adventure you won't want to miss. I really enjoyed watching Carlotta mature and learing about how boarding school operates in another country. I had some trouble with the Nigerian dialect, but it leads credence to the story.
The ending leads one to believe there is a sequel, and I certainly hope there is!
Character building, world development, and seamless writing have Nona David on the path straight to the top.
I really enjoyed myself.

To purchase:

From publisher (Bernard Books Publishing): https://bernardbooks.com

From Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0982452608/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&qid=1257266294&sr=1-1&condition=new

See the full review on the blog site "Wendy's Minding Spot"
http://mindingspot.blogspot.com/2009/11/feddie-girl-hilarious-adventures-of.html

Jill Page's Review of Feddie Girl

2009-11-04T13:31:00.004-05:00

Feddie Girl by Nona David Review:

Posted by Jill Page to the blog site "Frugal Plus"

Carlotta Ikedi being a thirteen-year-old teenage girl, that should be a tell-all right there! Can you say rebellious and frustrated inside?
You will find out that a lot of it stems from her home life. Her father, a prominent doctor going through several crises of his own, and her mother, a college professor with little time for Carlotta, and add to that a not-so recovering alcoholic. Her father is at the end of his rope with Carlotta and ships her off to a Nigerian boarding school.

It is interesting to learn of the different cultures and behaviors, especially of teens. However, you will find there are more similarities than realized. Feddie Girl is a bit of a heavier read than I expected due to the author’s syntax. However, it does have an amusing side to the story (as long as Carlotta isn’t your teen to deal with) As a mother, I had to throw that in there The colorful characters will keep you turning the pages, and I enjoyed the very fitting ending.

Stay tuned as there is another Novel due out that follows a parallel story of one of the characters in Feddie Girl!

A Special Thanks goes out to Joan over at Bernard Books Publishing for the opportunity to take a peek into those turbulent teen years within a different culture!

Where to purchase:

From Publisher

From Amazon.com

From Barnes and Noble

Review of FEDDIE GIRL (by Evie Alexis)

2009-11-01T22:28:00.006-05:00

Review for Nona David's FEDDIE GIRL

Posted by Evie Alexis to the blog site "Long Live Chick Lit"
http://longlivechicklit.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/review-for-nona-davids-feddie-girl/

“The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School,” is the summary provided for the readers at the bottom of Feddie Girl’s eye-catching cover. The humor was more dark than lighthearted, and at times the book had a tragic feel.

Carlotta Ikedi is a thirteen-year-old girl suffering from teenage rebellion. While that scenario is practically typical of every American teen - poor, middle-class or otherwise - Carlotta seems to suffer from teenage punkitis to a greater degree. Right from the story’s onset we find the heroine up to no good, cutting class and smoking a joint with a group one could not classify as friends; her vocabulary would make a drunken sailor blush.

Carlotta’s father, a prominent doctor going through several crises of his own, is fed up with his daughter’s bad-ass attitude and ships her off to Nigeria. Her mother is a college professor and a recovering alcoholic who has found her way back to the bottle. She readily complies to Dr. Ikedi’s forceful plan. Can we wonder at the young girl’s rage and lack of discipline?

Nona David has created a well-written and entertaining work of fiction, with the story taking wild and complicated turns. The readers are transported from Carlotta’s hell-on-Earth during her time at the boarding school, to Richard Ikedi’s entanglements with the mob, to Shelley Ikedi’s very bad life choices. This is a very dysfunctional, broken family, each separated by more than just mileage.

Feddie Girl is categorized as Women’s Fiction/Adventure. This reviewer found herself pulled in more by the sub-plots than the central focus which was of Carlotta’s plight. Perhaps older female readers may find themselves doing the same as that is the target audience whom the book is aimed at.

Overall, Feddie Girl was unique with its multicultural blend, offering many readers a glimpse of another world many would rarely see. While not the light romp expected, it definitely provided insight into the teenage mind.

You can purchase a copy of this novel from the publisher: Bernard Books Publishing https://bernardbooks.com or at Amazon http://amazon.com

See the full review on the blog site "Long Live Chick Lit"
http://longlivechicklit.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/review-for-nona-davids-feddie-girl/

Review of FEDDIE GIRL (by Wendy Wallach)

2009-10-29T19:18:00.004-04:00

Feddie Girl: My Review of a Great New Novel by Nona David

Review Posted by Wendy Wallach to the blog "It's Really Only a Purple World"

I couldn't put it down! Really, who would have thought that a book about a Nigerian boarding school would be so interesting? Yet as you start to read about Carlotta and her bunk mates at the school, you get engrossed not so much with how they are different from typical American teenagers but instead by how similar they really are! The language and syntax were a bit hard to follow at times, but it still read well and I can not wait to get to the next chapter to see what happens.

According to the book, there is another novel due out that follows a parallel story about one of the minor characters and it will be interesting to see what she does with that character arc!

You can buy it at Bernard Books or at Amazon

Advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL goes on sale this Oct 19th!!!

2009-10-17T22:15:00.004-04:00

Advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL, the international adventure/thriller by Nona David goes on sale via bernardbooks.com starting October 19th 2009.

Book Title: FEDDIE GIRL: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigeria Federal School
Author: Nona David
Publication Date: February 2010
Copyright: July 2009
Type: US Trade Paperback
Page No: 400
Price: $19.99 (US); £14.05 (UK); $26.10 (CAN); €18.82 (EUR); $28.80 (AUS); N3298 (NGN)
ISBN: 978-0-9824526-0-8
SAN: 858-2041
Status: Advance copies available for purchase
Deals: Free Shipping and handling till Dec 31st 2009 when purchased from Publisher.

Read Excerpts

Buy from Publisher

Buy From Amazon

Wholesalers, Distributors, and Bookstores:
Please contact James Downer at james.downer@bernardbooks.com for more information

Reminder: Reserve your copy of FEDDIE GIRL

2009-10-08T22:08:00.003-04:00

Hey all,

If you still haven't reserved your copy of FEDDIE GIRL the Nigerian-Federal/boarding-School novel by Nona David, now is the time to do so. You only have four days left!!!

Advance copy availability would be by reservation only.
Reservation deadline is on Oct 12 2009.
Sales of reserved copies commence on Oct 19 2009 via the publisher's website at https://bernardbooks.com
Free shipping and handling to any location in the world offered till Dec 31 2009.

To reserve a copy please go to: https://bernardbooks.com/form.html

Read excerpts of this novel at: https://bernardbooks.com/subpage.html

Lotta Luv

Carlotta

Calling for Reviewers to review FEDDIE GIRL

2009-08-03T11:23:00.009-04:00

Bernard Books Publishing is now seeking authentic book reviewers to review FEDDIE GIRL, the international women’s adventure/thriller novel by Nona David.

Reviewer Criteria/Qualification:
1. Must have a current website/web blog/magazine column
2. Review must be posted in at least one of the above publications
3. Reviewer must reside within the United States to receive galleys. Residents of other countries please contact for more options.

BOOK PARTICULARS
Title: FEDDIE GIRL
Sub Title: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School
Author: Nona David
Publisher: Bernard Books Publishing

Back Blurb:

Carlotta Ikedi (A.k.a Feddie Girl) has never liked school. Not in California. Not in Oklahoma. When her exasperated parents ship her off to boarding school–in West Africa–Carlotta faces a life, culture, and existence unlike anything she’s ever known.

School rules and regulations, rising bell, lights-out, manual labor, inspections, dining time, prefects, punishments, mean bunkmates, and visiting days–it’s all here. But author Nona David takes Carlotta’s story a step further when her adventure’s lead to unfortunate incidents that threaten to drive her American family into the clutches of infidelity and organized crime.

Boarding school doesn’t get any better than this…

For those who have experienced the boarding school life, the adventures of Feddie Girl will bring those memories crashing back… For anyone else, get ready to see the world as Feddie Girl.

*If interested in reviewing this novel, please contact Joan Peck (joan.peck@bernardbooks.com).
*Galley copies for review will be ready for mailing starting first week of September 2009.
*Publish/release date: February, 2010.
*Read excerpts of the novel HERE
*Reviews provided may be featured on publisher’s website, promotional sites/materials, and on the review/blurb pages of the book.

Sincerely,

Joan Peck (Book Publicist)
joan.peck@bernardbooks.com
www.bernardbooks.com

Okay, here we go...

2009-07-21T10:30:00.002-04:00

All right! All right!!!

I get it now.

Many of you wish to read the novel within the same period in different countries. No different availability dates, no favoritism, etc, etc.

Okey-dokie. So the new dates for release of advance copies of the novel has been shifted to September, 2009.

Those of you who reserved an advance copy and have been waiting since April of 2009, we apologize for the delay–but the majority has spoken. Due to the avalanche of petitions we received in the last several weeks requesting that we postpone the deadline for advance copy reservation as well as synchronize the dates for availability in different countries, we have come up with a solution.

Bernard Books Publishing is therefore pleased to announce that the availability for advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL, the international adventure/thriller by Nona David will be as follows:

Nigeria: September 28th 2009

UK: September 28th 2009

USA: September 28th 2009

This way, everyone in the above countries will the opportunity to read the novel within the same time frame. Hope we are all happy now. However, advance copies will be by reservation only. And reservations can only be placed via the Bernard Books website. CLICK HERE TO RESERVE

Yeah, I know you’re smiling now…

It’s all right, ‘cos I’m happy when you are.

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta (A.k.a Feddie Girl)

FEDDIE GIRL!!! So close...

2009-07-06T10:27:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone,

We are getting close to the release date of advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School.

And hang-on, we got a new cover coming too.
You didn't think we were gonna use the same stuff we have blasted on blogs all over the Internet, did you? You actually did? Lol! My bad!
Nah, we got the whole nine yards covered.
New cover, poster, and blurbs would be uploaded on the publisher's site on July 13th. Watch-out!!!

Official release date for the novel is set for February, 2010.

Hey, hold-on!!!

Advance/pre-release copies would be available in three countries as follows:

United States: July 27th, 2009
United Kingdom: July 31st, 2009
Nigeria: August 24th, 2009

Remember, advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL will only be available via bernardbooks.com and only to those lucky few who reserve a copy before July 27th.

Others would have to wait and read the novel after February, 2010. If you don't wanna be one of those slackers who will not get a taste of FEDDIE GIRL until next year, you gotta buckle up and RESERVE AN ADVANCE COPY NOW!

Don't miss-out on this awesome opportunity. Read FEDDIE GIRL six months before the rest of the world!!! LOL!!!

Lotta Luv,
Carlotta

Got Boarding School Slangs???

2009-06-15T01:19:00.003-04:00

School slangs?
Whoa! That's like my favorite part of boarding school life.
The good part is, like all groups of people united by a common cause, boarders have slangs that are totally unique to the school they attend.

The uniqueness of school slangs arises mainly from the location of the school and the native language spoken in that location, as well as the ethnicity and background of the students within the school. Let's not forget the hand-me-down slangs that must have been a tradition of the school from the get go. A great example is 'Madam Koi-Koi'. Now, if you haven't heard that one, irrespective of how old your boarding school is or where it is located in Nigeria, then you must be totally... LOL!!!

Slangs are like an unspoken rule: once you become a student of the school, you gotta learn the language and slangs of that school. No two ways about it.

I totally remember the first time my bunk mate referred to me as 'Bunkie'.
I was like, hold on... what was that?
Then there was the day a senior girl in my dorm threatened a junior student by telling her she was 'done for'.
Yeah right... please, mind defining that for me?
What about when someone asks you to go find their 'neighbor'?
Or when an announcement like this is made in the dining hall: "All 'meant-to's' should see me after siesta"?

So, after spending just three days in a boarding school, I began to think that each school should like, have a kind of dictionary that explains these slangs to new students. You know, sorta like a Slangotionary or something. LOL!!!

Seriously, wouldn't this make life easier for the new junior students?
Imagine having to figure out on your own what each slang means, or the consequences of mixing-up two like-sounding slangs, but with totally different meanings? i.e 'Pass' and 'Paas'. Totally un-cool huh?
So you can imagine how embarrassed I felt, when one day, I blurted out, "She banged her teacher!" when I actually meant, "She failed her teacher!".
Well, who would blame me? How was I to know that it was okay to use the slang 'bang' to connote 'fail', but only in terms of tests and exams. When used in the context of human to human relations, then 'bang' totally means something else.
Trust me, I got in a lot of trouble for that one. I had to learn the hard way--great way to go, huh?

The annoying part is that the older students always refuse to define the slangs for you when you ask them.
For instance, someone darts into the dormitory and declares, "You need to get a load of the kind atta that obtained me in Physics practicals today."
You ask, "What does 'atta' mean?"
And they reply, "Go and find out for yourself."
Gee thanks! If I could, I wouldn't be asking.

Anyways, it's all good, cos the average time for imbibing school slangs for any level-headed and minimally observant junior girl is three weeks. The 'ogba-mbo's' and 'efficienco's' usually pick them up in a few days flat.
Don't ask me what those mean. Cos if you do, I'd say, "Go and find out for yourself!" LOL!!!

Just so I don't sound like a total block-head, I've come up with a few slangs that are totally part of the slangotionary for my school.
Here they are in alphabetical order:

Barbie dolls: Girls who are pretty and rich, and usually very full of themselves. E.g. Did you see the expensive sunglasses that Barbie doll had on in class yesterday?

Been-to's: Students who have visited foreign nations like the UK and US. E.g. She now regards herself as a been-to, just because she managed to spend two days in London last hols.

Bubble girls: Students who are famous, especially due to their social skills. E.g. Everyone wants to be like that Bubble girl over there--she displays the coolest dance steps on stage.

Floater: Clueless students who seem to never be able to get the gist of what's on board. E.g. If you still don't get what this blog is all about, then you are a major floater.

Floor-members: Students in a senior class who are not prefects but are at the same class level as school prefects. E.g Your Bunkie is a floor member, so you don't have to obey all school rules to the letter.

Kabashers: Students who are religious fanatics and often known for their penchant to pray loudly anywhere at all manners of day or night. E.g. Someone should please tell that Kabasher to tone it down and let us get some sleep!

Meant-to's: Students who are repeating a class and are, therefore, meant to be in a higher class level otherwise. E.g. There is a meant-to in our class. Should we also put her name down for noise-making?

Princy: The school principal. E.g. This one is self-explanatory--Princy said so herself.

Subsidy: This term is used for identifying dormitory prefect. E.g. The subsidy in my dorm punished me for tardiness.

Transits: Students who transferred form a different school. E.g The transit in our class was formerly a day-student in another school.

Witchy: Being very mean; as in one who is wicked and unkind. E.g. She's such a witchy student, please have nothing to do with her.

Yacker: Someone who talks too much without making much sense. E.g. Please shut-up--you're just a miserable yacker.

Okay, that's it for now, but feel free to include yours. Remember, each school has its own unique slangs, so it will be great to have your versions of the above. LOL!!!

Lotta Luv,
Carlotta

Read excerpts of the FEDDIE GIRL novel HERE and RESERVE A COPY.
The novel will be available on the PUBLISHER'S SITE starting this July. Availability will be by reservation only.

Uh-uh... A Typical Class Day!!!

2009-06-08T09:06:00.002-04:00

Hi all,
This is an excerpt from the actual novel, FEDDIE GIRL by Nona David. Advance copies of the novel will be released this July, but availability will be by reservation only. Click HERE to reserve copies.

ENJOY THE SNEAK PEEK!

The next morning dawned bright and clear, but Carlotta was apprehensive in the presence of her new classmates.

Having to attend a girls’ boarding school in a foreign country was not too bad. But, what Carlotta loathed about school period was the deafening and head aching quarrels her classmates indulged in when there was no teacher in the classroom.

It was only 8:45 AM and, already, the JS1D students were at it again. This time, they were bickering and fighting one another about what cities and towns in Nigeria had the best residential areas. When words weren’t enough, they resorted to throwing missiles in the form of books, combs, and school sandals.

As if anyone cares where others grew up, Carlotta thought, feeling miserable. She’d lived her whole life in the United States and hadn’t been able to do a thing about it when her parents decided to ship her off to a boarding school in Nigeria as punishment for getting expelled from middle school.

The noise was making her head hurt. Carlotta depressed her vibrating eyeballs with the heel of her palms, hoping to keep them from falling out of their sockets. She was wondering how the girls were able to keep up such a racket, when a particularly loud bang surprised her into snapping her eyes open.

A furious looking male teacher stood at the classroom door.

The students stopped fighting at once. The screeching was cut off from the throats of two students—like a raging fire abruptly doused with water. One final sandal arched high above the heads of the students and landed squarely in the middle of the blackboard with a loud thud, then skidded mournfully down to the ground. Several girls scuttled back to their seats. Ndidi and her cohorts scrambled down from their lockers.

When all was calm, the class stared sheepishly at the dark male teacher leaning against the doorframe.

The teacher considered them for a while, his handsome face devoid of expression. Without much show of annoyance, he strolled into the classroom and stood before the students. “I am not going to inquire as to the cause of the noise,” he declared, “but this is a classroom, and it is time for my lesson.” He walked over to the blackboard and picked up the lone sandal. “Who lost this?” he asked in a scathing tone, holding the rubber footwear aloft by the tips of his forefinger and thumb, dangling it like an offending rodent for the whole class to see.

A chubby girl walked up to him like one would to a dangerous dog. “Please sir, it’s mine,” she breathed, and held out her hand for the shoe.

The teacher cast her a wary eye, snorted, and dropped the sandal in her hand.

The girl clutched the shoe and scurried back to her seat.

The teacher sneered then turned abruptly and picked up the duster. With a swift swipe of his left hand, he wiped the board clean. His right hand moved with lightening speed as he wrote the word mathematics on the board with a piece of white chalk. He whirled around in one fluid motion and began to teach.

The teacher’s movements seemed so effortless; his actions— electrifying; voice—spellbinding.

There was no beep from the class during the entire lesson. The students were caught up in the fast paced action of his teaching. They watched in fascination as he stabbed and slashed at the blackboard with the chalk, whipping-up seemingly intoxicating mathematical symbols and equations from thin air.

The math teacher was the performer; the mesmerized class his spectator.

Not until the bell rang did Carlotta realize she hadn’t grasped a thing out of the lesson.

The math teacher had raced through his lesson in a well-meaning tactic to revise the basic math skills he believed the class should have already acquired. He had breezed through even and odd numbers and the rules of addition and subtraction. After those came multiplication and division. Then types of fractions. Simple proportions. Percentages. Finally, it had come to algebra and the real lesson had commenced.

The math teacher had sauntered out of the class as soon as the bell rang, leaving an awed class behind him. He hadn’t even bothered to introduce himself.

A stunned silence followed the teacher’s departure until someone broke the spell by saying,

“Please, what was his name?”

“Mr. Wesley Iorshimbe-Ngongngong,” another offered.

“Mr. Wesley what?” a different girl quipped.

“Wesley Snipes!” Joyce snapped at the girl. “Kai, are you deaf?”

The girl gave Joyce a reproachful look. “Please allow me oh, the man’s name has k-leg, abeg.”

Another student admonished Joyce. “Yes oh, allow her. I’m sure that even you can’t pronounce the name sef.”

Nelly laughed and shook her head. “Come to think of it, that Mathematics teacher is a real Snipes.” She jumped to her feet, her eyes shinning with mischief. She couldn’t stop laughing. “Wait oh, he even looks like the real Wesley Snipes.” She stopped to catch her breath.

Several girls laughed, too.

That opened the floodgates. In excited tones, the students compared the math teacher’s movements to that of Wesley Snipes’ ingenious stunts in the ‘Blade’ movies. They got so wrapped-up in their stories they lost track of time, until Rosemary the class prefect announced in dismay,

“You girls, it’s time for integrated science, and it says here on the time-table that we are supposed to go to the biology lab for the lesson.”

They were already six minutes late. Lockers were opened and banged as the students reached for their science text and notebooks. In a flash, most of them were out the door.

“Biology lab, Carlotta. Let’s go,” Ossie apprised. She picked up her books, shut her desk with a bang, and ran for the door.

“Hey, wait up!” Carlotta called to Ossie, “I dunno where to find the biology lab!” In a rush, she grabbed a heavy textbook she assumed was for integrated science, and bolted out the door after her classmates.

Coming in February, 2010
Advance copies available till September 28th 2009
Reserve your copy now!

Senior Chidi, what have you got with me?

2009-06-02T13:26:00.004-04:00

While in boarding school, ever been in the situation where you feel like a senior girl is totally out to get you and deal with you? It's like, whatever you do, you always end-up in trouble with the same senior girl?

Yeah, I've totally been there. In my case, her name is Senior Chidinma, and she also happens to be the house prefect of my house.

The first time I met her, I knew there was just something about her that wasn't right. Don't get me wrong, she's not sick in the head or anything like that. It's just that she's -- weird. Kinda sinister internally. I mean, she looks okay, very pretty on the outside, but I'm sure if you were to take a knife to her chest, you'll probably be looking at a black stone embedded right there in place of a heart.

Lol!

I'm not gonna be all righteous and pretend like I've never had my share of wickedness as a kid, believe me, I have. But Senior Chidinma's attitude takes wickedness to a whole new level. Maybe it's just me who see her that way. The first time I looked into her eyes, I felt chills creep up my back. The girl has no eyes. What she has are marbles. Cold black marbles.

Needless to say, my path crossed hers a few times, and it was from her I learned there were ways to deal with someone without laying a finger on them. If you've ever knelt on the rough ground for three straight hours with your arms extended at ninety degree angles on either side of you, then you'd get what I'm saying. Imagine! Before boarding school, the meanest punishment I'd ever been given was being grounded for two weeks. So, go figure.

Senior Chidi always seemed to materialize each time I do something wrong. I don't know how she totally does that. She just sorta -- appears. Just like that! Whoooo!!! And she's not one to ease-off on the punishments. You should see her meting them out. It's like her favorite pastimes are assigning morning duties and ordering students about before Saturday morning inspections. Well, I guess that's why she was made the house prefect. Kudos to her! Bummer for us!

So one evening, I was leaving the dining hall with my friend, on our way to class for night prep. It wasn't actually time for prep, we still had a few minutes before the bell was supposed to go off. So my friend and I kinda dawdled for a while, you know, just bonding and talking about stuff. Then all of sudden, what did I hear?

"Feddie Girl, come here!"

I turn around and what do you know? Senior Chidi was a little way ahead, glaring at me with those black marbles. I swallowed down the creeping chills, dismissed my friend and start to make my way to her.

"Start running!" she ordered.

There was only a few feet separating us. Why should I run, when I can cover the distance as quickly in a few long strides. So, I quickened my steps and got to her in like three seconds. Guess what she said?

"Go back to where you were and run from there to here!"

Seriously? Is she kidding? Well, I guess not, cos she made me repeat the whole process like a dozen times before she was satisfied. By then, I was already a slobbering panting mess. I also puked all the dinner I ate that evening. You'd think she would stop there won't you?

No way! Not Senior Chidinma.

She made me kneel for an hour and a half with a heavy book on my head. Then she made me scrub half a dozen bathrooms until they shone and sparkled. That's not all. The next afternoon she made me clean several pots and sweep several classrooms. By the time the punishment was over, I was ready to pack my bags and call it quits.

So, please, remind me again. What was it I did to merit the punishment in the first place?

Senior Chidi, what have you got with me?

FEDDIE GIRL, novel by Nona David. Coming this July to Bernard Books Publishing. Read excerpts and reserve a copy.

Remember old boarding school songs?

2009-05-29T08:04:00.002-04:00

Boarding school holds some bittersweet memories for most of us. Yet there were some students who just couldn’t bear the strain and bailed-out after their first term, or first year, or even after three years.
For those die-hards who endured the rigors and pains of boarding school life for six whole years, I defer to you! Trust me, it’s not an easy feat to achieve. Sometimes when the going gets tough, students resort to pouring their sorrows into songs. It sorta helps lighten the burden and ease the heart.
There are some songs that no matter where you are, they just remind you of boarding school.
Like this one that is mainly sung when students are running low on supplies:

My dear mother;
I am very sorry;
For writing this letter;
Please buy me sugar, and butter, and bournvita.

There is this one for when SS3 students are ready to graduate:

Everyday senior, senior; Everyday senior, senior;
Senior don’t forget us, your junior ones are crying;
Senior don’t forget us, your junior ones are weeping;
We don’t know what to do, We don’t know what to do;
It is a pity and very painful that our seniors are leaving us;
We don’t know what to do, we don’t know what to do.

Also, an old one, but I’m not sure which school is it’s source, but we sure did sing it a lot:

Booze garri, Booze garri;
In the house;
Add some sugar;
Add some milk;
Add some water;
Garri in the morning, afternoon and night;
Garri gives you energy, makes you feel all right;
Booze garri!

There is this other one that comes with several variations:

Give me a heartbeat: Mm-mm!
Give me a sneeze: At-choo!
Give me a cough: U-huh, u-huh!
All together: Mm-mm, at-choo, u-huh u-huh!
Give it to me one more time: At-choo, u-huh, mm-mm!

There must be many more, so if you remember any, please feel free to post it here. Thanks!
Let’s keep the torch burning high and bright, for there’s no other experience like that of boarding school life.

Lotta Luv,
Carlotta

Advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL the novel are coming this July. Copies will be available by reservation only. Go to Bernard Books Publishing to reserve your copy now!

Boarding School in Nigeria???

2009-05-18T22:13:00.004-04:00

"I need a junior girl!"
"Last man in the house!"
"Who wants to fetch my water?"
"Who has extra soap?"
"Who wants to make a deal with their food?"

Lol!!! Nigerian boarding schools--those were the days!!!

Do you totally remember your first day in a Nigerian boarding school? How unfamiliar, strange, and intimidating everything seemed? Do you remember staring at the other new students that arrived at the same time as you? How you checked each other out and wondered, "Hmm, what primary school did he/she come from?" "What score did he/she get in the Common Entrance and Interview examinations?" Lol! Yeah, I know, no one writes Common Entrance examinations anymore to gain admission into Nigerian Secondary Schools. But fifteen years ago, things were totally different, or so I'm told.

What about the prefects and senior students? Do you remember how huge they looked? One could totally call them 'mothers'. Boy, were they big and scary!
The prefects and their pompous appearance, always strutting about with looks of importance on their faces. Calling out to everyone within reach,
"You, there! Where are you going? Start running to the assembly hall!"
Lol! How easy it was for the prefects to take-down one's name for punishment. How important they felt meting out grass-cutting portions for manual labor. How totally godlike they seemed rationing out hot tea, bread, and boiled eggs for breakfast. For them, the life in boarding house began and ended within their reach. No one remains in the dormitory during classes or prep unless they say so. No one takes a bath during siesta without due permission. No one takes their plate of food outta the dinning hall without a prefect sanctioning it. And woe betide you to hang around in the dorms after the dorm prefect bellows: "Leave the dormitory!"
When you hear, "It's lights out!" You know to fly up your bunk immediately and go straight to sleep! No arguments!

As for the senior students, their sense of self-importance, especially where junior students are concerned, can not be paralleled. It was through them the new students learned there was something like, "Kneel down and fly your hands!" Or, "Decrease your height and hide your eyeballs!" What about, "Go and take your position"? Lol! Those senior students were definitely the height of boarding life--every junior student's nightmare!

If you've ever boycotted manual labor by hiding in the bush, or dove into an over-grown shrub to escape the calls of tardy senior students just returning from home, or pretended to be sick so as not to have to go fetch something for a senior girl during prep hours; then you totally get where I'm coming from.

You remember pretending to be deaf when a senior student is yelling for you from ten feet away? You remember zapping from the dinning hall when it's time to re-arrange the tables and benches for a school function? You remember washing tureens as punishment for failing to take your wet towel with you when leaving the dorm in the morning? You remember being konked on the head for turning in your table tureens late? You remember being locked out of dinning and made to miss a meal for arriving two seconds late to the dinning hall? If you remember all these, then you totally attended a Nigerian boarding school as a JS1 student.

So given all the above, some may wonder why we ever bother to go back for second term and many more terms.

Seriously, "Why do we go back for more?" What is it about boarding school that keeps us enduring and hoping that one day, things would be different and we would be the ones totally sleeping on the bottom bed of a two-bed bunk?

Is it the tuck-shop goodies, the school club activities, the interesting and funny class periods, the pranks played on teachers, the cursing of wicked senior girls, the running-off to fetch water when no one else is by the tank, the zapping from Principal's assembly, the audacity to disappear and escape mass punishments, the hiding in the bush and boycotting manual labor, or what? What did it for you?

What made you look forward to returning to school each new term?

Yeah, we all had tons of fun and made lots of memories while in boarding school. But, if you could do it all over again, would you???

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

Watch-out for FEDDIE GIRL the international adventure/thriller set in a Nigerian Federal School. Read excerpts at Bernard Books Publishing. Reserve a copy HERE

Walk in their shoes...?

2009-05-13T02:32:00.003-04:00

Hey,

I'm just wondering:

Last year, my parents freaked out and sent me, their twelve year old daughter, and only child packing to a Federal school in Nigeria to live as a boarder.

Did you just say, "Whoa, that's harsh. Whatever happened to grounding wayward American teens?"

Well, I don't know what you're getting at, but in my way of thinking, I'd say I totally deserve what I got. After all, I wasn't insane when I beat-up two innocent six-year-old's and got my hands on a roll of marijuana.

"Still, that ain't enough reason to ship a child out to a foreign country!" You raise one eye-brow in consternation and shoot darts with your eyes at me. You look ready to spring and knock my poor head off my sorry shoulders.

Alright, alright, back-off! I know better than to ruffle your feathers on the night after your miserable team has lost an easy game of baseball to their equally miserable opponents. Not that I totally agree with your point of view about my being dropped off in boarding school last year, but hey, whatever keeps us cool!

However, I'd still love to hear the humble opinion of a unbiased third party.

So to my blog readers, I ask:

Do you totally think my parents flipped their lids and acted too hastily in their decision to make me attend a Federal School in Nigeria as punishment for what I did last year?
Yes? Hell no?
Had I been your kid, how would you have managed the situation?
In your humble opinion, what on earth, if anything, would a kid have to do that would warrant you to dish-out a punishment as harsh as the one my parents meted out to me?

Who knows? Maybe by answering all or part of the above questions, we may uncover some truths about ourselves and the way we see things within the society we live in.

Totally looking forward to hearing from you...

Lotta Luv,
Carlotta

For excerpts of the upcoming FEDDIE GIRL novel by Nona David, visit http://bernardbooks.com/subpage.html
To reserve your copy of FEDDIE GIRL, please go to http://bernardbooks.com/form.html

Carlotta's friendly reminder...

2009-05-09T23:58:00.001-04:00

Hello there,

Have you read my story?

Read excerpts of FEDDIE GIRL, the sizzling international adventure/thriller by Nona David. This novel features me as the major character and is all about my experiences in an all-girls boarding school in Nigeria. It also tells what my family were up to while I was safely tucked out of the way in boarding house. Lol!!!

Ever been to Nigeria??? No??? Gosh! You need to read this novel. Lol!!!

Actually, that is kinda what this whole blog thingy is about, wouldn't you say?

Did I hear you say, "Oh, alright, Carlotta, I will read the excerpts"? Yep, that's what I'm talkin' about. :)

Anyways, don't miss this opportunity to read never-before-seen excerpts of this novel and reserve your copy at the publishers site: Bernard Books Publishing. http://bernardbooks.com/reserve.html

You can also drop a line for the author by signing the guest book!!!

See ya,
Carlotta

Fela: I throway salute!!!

2009-05-02T13:42:00.006-04:00

Salute to the master; Bow to the king!

I've never met a Nigerian who doesn't know who Fela was. I say 'was' cos Fela passed on several years ago, but his legacy still lives on--in the hearts and minds of his fans.

"Who is Fela?" you ask, your mind already going through the list of famous artists you're familiar with.

Fela is a legend. An artist who's famous for not just his music, but the meanings behind every word he sings. To understand Fela and what goes on in his mind, you gotta go right back--back to the deep-rooted culture of his people.

You give me that 'what the heck are you talking about?' look.

I ignore you and shake my head in pity. Unless you've lived in Nigeria and seen things for yourself, you'll probably never get why Fela means so much to those who are lucky to have had the pleasure of his entertainment/teaching.

Abruptly you ask, "What makes Fela's music so famous?" Your mind is already browsing through the 'rock and roll' legends you've been opportuned to know: The Beatles, Kiss, Rolling Stone, Steely Dan, James Gang, Jonas Brothers(?) Lol!!!

Well, I totally can't capture the true essence of Fela Kuti and what his music means to Nigerians and many Africans at large. What I can do, is give his dedicated fans a chance to speak from their hearts and tell you exactly what it is they root about Fela's songs.

So, all you Nigerians out there, if you're a true fan of Fela Anikulapo Kuti, tell us why you love his music, tell us what his music means to you.

I totally rest my case!

Lotta luv,

Carlotta

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgqxFHMqlxs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIzMqCzproM&feature=related

To read excerpts of FEDDIE GIRL and reserve a copy, visit Bernard Books Publishing

Bend down, shake to the beat...

2009-04-25T16:57:00.008-04:00

Whoa people! Let's talk Lagos parties!!!
Imagine the music and the feverish dance-steps! Most of you Lagosians, Nigerians, and lovers of Afro beats know what I'm talking about. Whatever you're doing, wherever you are --whether at home, out in the city, or even totally out in a foreign country-- whenever you hear the beat, you just feel like getting straight down and doing a jig or two. Lol!!!
My favorite is the song my Uncle always starts off his parties with, a song that created so much buzz in 2001/2002, I've been told:

"Pade mi ni sale...!!!!!"

"Aaaaahhhhh Under!!!!!!"

Yeah, that's right. You totally know who I'm talking about. You're already standing in that legendary dancing pose, shoulders back, hips down, butt stuck-out, and backbone set to undulate. You wait for the next cue:

"Le le le le le le le-- le le le le-- le le le le le le..."

The metallic sound of trumpets, then:

"Arege ji ah! Arege ji ah ah...."

"Aaaahhhh, Under!"

Then follows the well-known lyrics accompanied by staccato crazy beats with the Yoruba talking drums.

"Isale ele ele, konko konko..."

"E gbe jo oooo!!!"

"Kon Below! Konko Below!! Kon Below!!! Konko Below!!!!"

"UNDER!!!!!"

I never really figured out if the catch word is "Under" or "Thunder", or both. But the song is quite addictive, I must admit. Can't be totally captured with just words. This here, friends, will require a depicting video.
Just so we're clear, I'm talking of the one and only, Lagbaja, the masked King of the new millennium Afro beats. See link to a you-tube video of his hit song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpOzwVAQ7M8
Very captivating, huh? I thought so too when I first heard it, even though I couldn't understand a word, except "Below". Lol!!!
To tell the truth, I'd still like to find out what the lyrics mean some time.
Anyways, Lagos parties are something every teenager needs to experience at least once in his/her lifetime.
"What about High-school parties?" You ask, not sure what on earth I'm totally driving at.
Teenage American parties, you mean? Oh puhleease, give me a total break! There just isn't any comparison!!! Those stolen-beer and pizza-driven excuses for a good time totally fade right into the background beside a Lagos street party.
Yeah! That's right! It's not just the colorful attire of the party-goers, the wide-reaching head-ties of the women, the rich agabadas worn by the men, the flashy jewelries, great high-life music, or delicious foods and refreshments supplied as 'item seven.' Lol!!!
To be frank with you, in comparison to what I now know as an 'Owambe party', which is the most common native party in Lagos; prom parties just feel so drab and boring with the punch and pizza--nothing really much to it. Ugh!!!
One thing I noticed about Lagos parties though, you don't really need an exotic venue to pull-off the perfect entertaining scene. Most people just use their compounds and the free spaces behind their homes. However, if you're one of those who live in a flat (apartment) or totally don't have a wide compound, don't sweat it. Just use your street!!!!
"No way!!!" You eyes almost pop out of their sockets. "You mean as in streets where cars commute and everything?" you ask, looking quite incredulous. "Seriously?"
Yep!!! Totally!!! Just wait till it's about 6pm, then measure-out about a two-hundred feet of the street in front of your home-- spanning to the left and right-- and clamp-down some road-block signs at each end. Then scatter around several plastic chairs and tables and position a few bouncers at strategic points to warn and redirect traffic. Mount an intimidating sound system with heavy-duty speakers wired from the inside of your building with plenty of extensions.
Voila!!!
You totally got yourself a party venue. Lol!!!
"You must be kidding me?" You remark, totally blown outta your mind. "A street party, how cool is that?" You think for a coupla minutes, then ask, "What about the cops? Howddya deal with 'em, huh?"
Cops? What cops? The same guys the party host already 'sorted' with a coupla thousand bucks (Naira)?
Naahhh, street parties don't get bothered by no cops, irritated neighbors, or grandparents. The general rule of thumbs for such gatherings is very simple:
If you can't beat 'em; join 'em!!!
Lol!!!
"Wow," you say, totally blown away. "I so wanna spend my summer hols in Lagos.
Now, that's what I'm talking about. Remember, the above also goes for coming-of-age parties, birthdays, school proms, naming ceremonies, bachelor parties, burial wake-keeping, golden-jubilees, after wedding parties, church functions, sports victory, etc, etc. You can basically celebrate anything in Lagos, even your first job, your first car, college graduations or your house opening. These parties bring the body and soul of the city together in perfect harmony. And you wanna know something cool?
Everyone is totally invited. In effect, a second home for street parties are:
M'ogbo, mo branch!
Indirect translation: I heard the music, I totally invited myself. And all my hommies.
"Yeah right!!!" You roll your eyes. "The more the merrier, huh?"
Yep!!! That's exactly what I'm talking about! All ya party rats outta 'ere, please join me:

E gbe jo o!!!

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

Get a copy of the "Feddie Girl" novel by Nona David on Amazon.com or from the publisher https://bernardbooks.com

To buy this novel in Nigeria, please contact our sales agents:

Don't you love 'em Lagos street-hawkers?

2009-04-21T22:39:00.002-04:00

Got bread???

Street hawking in Lagos. What a unique experience! Where else on this earth can one afford prompt service coupled with freedom of choice and the chance to compare, contrast, and haggle prices of goods and services with vendors, and totally feel like a celebrity?

Not in a million cities. Only in Lagos, Nigeria.

Yeah, that's right. I totally said it. What you gonna do? Drag my white tush to Kiri-Kiri prison?

Anyone who's ever been to Lagos, even for one day, totally knows the chant of the street-hawkers:

Bread-dy Agege o!

Ewa Agoyin, o wa o!

Buy pure-water!

Ewedu re!

Coke! Fanta!! Sprite!!!

Guguru ati ekpa!

Hot Moin-moin!

Akara, Kpoff-kpoff, Chin-chin!!!

Guinea-fowl eggs!

Dodo! Boole!

It goes on and on and never ends, one street hawker--flat metal tray balanced on his/her head--after another, selling edible goodies from dawn till dusk.

Who can resist their call? No one! That's why their service is so world-famous.

Indigens say Lagos is for the active and highly energetic individuals. Yeah, right!

Ironically, the lazy and sedentary thrive well in Lagos too. Basically, the street-hawkers live for these people. All one needs to do is drag oneself outta bed and go camp in front of the gate to ones home. All the stuff you need for the day will pass by you in the space of thirty-five minutes. From bath soap to toothbrush and toothpaste. From hot tea and freshly baked bread to heavy meals, snacks, and soft drinks. Hell, you can even make a phone call with a rented cell phone! What more can one ask for?

And to totally cap it all, stuffs are hawked in convenient quantities. You need just two slices of bread for a sandwich? No problem! the street-hawkers will totally sell just two slices. Lol! You only need a squeeze of toothpaste? Not an issue! You only wanna purchase just three tablespoons of hot cocoa and a dash of milk for your morning drink? Sure, they're totally up for it! You need a handful of detergent for your laundry? Okey-dokie, one handful of 'super-blue omo' is measured and priced accordingly. Lol!!!

One favorite theory of mine is that many Europeans are in the wrong country--especially the heavy and lazy ones. Oh yeah? What other city encourages the sedentary lifestyle in humans more than Lagos? Imagine a city where sloth and bumming around is totally acceptable. Vendors bring everything you ever wish for to your doorstep, enabling you to just sit right there on your backside while you lose weight and acquire a long-lasting tan without much trouble. Lol!!!

Oh and it doesn't end with just hanging outside your gate. While riding in vehicles you can totally buy stuff off the streets too. Who says you gotta stop and exit your vehicle? Nope. No need to bother your precious self. The street-hawkers totally get it. They already anticipate your needs and will rush their wares to your car window. Don't worry, they are adept at chasing after your car even in the heaviest of traffic. Some of them can totally keep pace with a vehicle moving at 30 kilometers per hour. Amazing, huh?

Lol!!!

While in a car, please, the last thing you wanna do is push your head outta your window and yell, "Bread!" Lol!!! The next thing you're gonna know, many different kinds of bread are so gonna be shoved in your face. Large loaves, small loaves, dark-chocolate, white, wheat, mixed, milky, sliced, heavy--name it, you got it!

So basically, you now get the idea, right? Hey? You still with me?

I steal a look at your face and realize you're totally fast asleep.

I've been totally rambling to myself for the last hour. Fat luck!

I'll be back with more!

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

For information about the upcoming novel, FEDDIE GIRL by Nona David, visit Bernard Books Publishing http://bernardbooks.com

Yeah, Right! Welcome to Lagos, Nigeria...

2009-04-17T23:54:00.005-04:00

So why did I get on a plane heading to Lagos, Nigeria?

To be honest, I asked myself the same question everyday for the past year. I don't know why I let my parents talk me into it, despite forebodings at the back of mind. Guess I just wanted to be cool and show them no amount of punishment would totally faze me.

Oh boy, was I wrong!

First off, my mom came along for the ride but my dad refused to comply, even though the punishment was his idea in the first place.

You look at me in an odd way, as if to say, you dumb babe! "That probably raised a red flag, huh?"

It did, believe me, but I was too busy bitching about my cell phone privileges being taken away, to notice. Talk about the classic 'penny wise, pound foolish' syndrome.

There I was, sulking about my Blackberry, not even noticing my parents had something more sinister in mind. When I finally caught up to what was on board, it was too late!

"Jeez!" you yell, "what are you? Like the dumbest kid on the block?" You shake your head in disgust.

I cringe from you and and your snarky attitude and hide my irritation behind my words. I know you're right, but say what you may, had you been in my shoes, even you wouldn't have seen it coming.

You roll your eyes to high heavens and smirk, "Yeah, right!"

Seriously!!! Lagos, Nigeria isn't exactly San Francisco, California.

So like, we stepped out of the Muritala Mohammed airport building and it suddenly hit me:

Mosquitoes are truly the most evil and vicious insects you'll ever come across.

"No kidding!" you exclaim, running my pink hairbrush through your hair. "You think I oughta shave?" You peer at your reflection in the mirror, caressing your smooth jaw with long tapered fingers. You have no stubble--you're only fourteen.

Well, yeah. I'm referring to the mosquitoes, not your non-existent facial hair. Like most pre-pubescent males, you're already obsessed with growing a moustache.

Anyways, back to my story. In Lagos, the mosquitoes are as large as moths, noisy and unrelenting. They must have a unique way of discerning fresh blood, cos they descended on me and my mom in droves as soon as we stepped out in the open, forming a distorted halo over our heads and singing in our ears.

Their bites are sharp and stinging, the pain akin to none other than that of bees. They never let-up, no matter how hard you slap at them. Hiding under layers of clothing don't help either cos they've figured out a way to feed on you through your pants.

The frustrating part is, you put up your hand to wave them away, they go ahead and bite your knuckles and the skin underneath your nails, the two places that are the most difficult to appease by scratching--assuming you can find the exact spot to scratch.

"I can imagine," you say, not really getting it.

But I won't blame ya cos, unless you've been to Lagos and have been attacked by a million of those bad boys at once, you'll probably never get it. End of story!

Mosquitoes are just one of the many evils of Lagos. The traffic congestion, air and garbage pollution, lack of traffic laws, harassment by road-side vendors, and general lack of law and order will blow you away.

"How come?" you ask, finally letting go of your boyish chin. You pick up a scraggly sneaker and stuff your sock-less foot into it.

What I'm saying is, you don't wanna make the mistake of taking Lagos, Nigeria for granted. It's a city like no other. Lagosians fondly refer to it as Eko. As far as they are concerned, no other city in the world can totally offer what Lagos does.

And, after spending a whole year in Nigeria, I began to see it too.

The exciting night life, the sleepless natives, the exotic and mouth-watering foods, the language, the accent, the thankfulness of the people when blessings come their way, the frustrations of business owners when power goes out, the rowdy markets sporting anything you desire under the sun, the intimidating area boys, the church functions, the parties and ceremonies, the music, the pulse of the streets. It's a whole lot to take in at first glance. But before long, the city gets to you and you get infected with the feverish enthusiasm.

You pause in the process of knotting the laces of your second sneaker. "You don't say?" You stare at me with eyes wide as saucers.

On the contrary, I really do say. Just three weeks in the city and I totally found myself screaming with the rest of them:

Lagos for life!

Eko o ni baje!

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

(Definitely more to come, so stay connected.)

For excerpts and information about the upcoming novel FEDDIE GIRL, visit http://bernardbooks.com

Nigeria, West-Africa!!! Why me...?

2009-04-14T15:52:00.007-04:00

So I beat-up on two kids half my age and landed them in the emergency room with cracked ribs.

"What's the big deal?" You ask from the side or your mouth, not letting go of the Nintendo cruiser you clutch in your hands.

Well, the big deal is that my parents panicked and catapulted us from the our lovely home in San Francisco to the middle of nowhere in Owasso, Oklahoma. Major downer!

You sip from your soda can. "I still don't get it," you mutter, slurping the drink around in your mouth, "so you relocated to the mid-lands, who gives a shit?"

I have just one question. You ever been to Owasso, Oklahoma?

No?

Then shut the hell up and take my word for it. After living most of my life in 'Frisco, Owasso felt like cowboy land to me. Shoot! They even have cowboys and totally have like, native Indian names for their towns. Osawatomie, Oolagah, Owasso, Okmulgee...

Like, who the hell named these towns? The guys from 'Dukes of Hazard?' Crazy!!!

Anyways, we moved to Owasso (pronounced 'Owass-ah' by many natives), and I hated my parents for it. They put me in some middle school filled with a bunch of stupid kids that know nothing about being cool. Many of them wouldn't even know what a cigarette looked like if it came poking them in the eye.

Bummer!!!

I had no friends. My best friend Sasha was back in 'Frisco dating cute guys and lounging in pools and beaches, sipping slushies and eating ice-cream. Me? I was caged in Owasso, wearing drab clothes to school and eating cafeteria-cooked-crap for lunch. Yuck!!!

Even the extracurricular activities in the school was like, totally booorrriiing! There was no group for aspiring actresses like me. No serious music group with incredible talent like mine. And definitely no musicals or talent shows whatsoever. Instead, they had baseball. Who the heck wants to play baseball?

You give me a reproachful stare. "Baseball is an American fave," you say.

Yeah, yeah, Baseball and the Angels and the Braves and yatty-yatty-yada!!! Give me a break!

So, like, the only kid I identified with at that middle school in Owasso was this guy named Samuel Machiovich. Cool kids in the school nick-named him 'Slinky Sam.'

I was cool, so I called him Slinky Sam too. He was the major and the most widely connected supplier of cigarettes and drugs in the school. I was one of his frequent customers...Lol!!!

"What!!!!" you scream. "Cigarettes? Whatcha go picking up that disgusting habit for?"

First off, smoking is not a disgusting habit, at least, not when you stick to the occasional cigarette. It's when you become addicted and or graduate to reefers that it becomes disgusting--and at whatever age you start doing it.

In my case, I started smoking cigs when I was like, eight? Nine? I forget. But, while in 'Frisco, I only smoked like one or two sticks in three months.

Then we moved to Owasso and I met Slinky Sam and the likes of him. Things quickly took a turn for the worse. I started smoking more frequently, you know, just for relaxation and to let-off steam. I was netting in at about two sticks in three days. Then the urge to smoke became more insistent. Before I knew it, I was smoking a whooping pack of cigs in two weeks! Gawd!!!

Then guess what?

"What?" you ask, all eyes and ears now. (Finally, I've been able to gain your full attention. Lol!)

Okay, so, Slinky Sam totally introduced me to something stronger than just tobacco.

"I knew it!" you yell. "The Slimy bastard!"

Well, it's not totally his fault. I could have said no if I wanted to. Problem was--I seriously needed something to get my mind off my parents selfish decisions and judgment. Jeez! What do they know about my life?

So, at first, I tried a few kinds of weed, nothing too serious, just harmless grass and stuff. Then one day, Slinky got me the real deal. Marijuana!!!

"Marijuana??!!!" You yell...

Yup, it cost me ten bucks a roll too. Slinky said it was the best weed in town.

"Whatcha do? You smoke it?" You are now at the edge of your seat, perched and staring at me in awe and unbelief.

To be fair to you, the answer is yes! I did smoke the reefer... We cut classes and went behind the school dumpster during school hours. I took one puff and closed my eyes, hoping to savor the promised freedom the warm smoke would bring.

The next thing I knew, a heavy hand clamped down on my shoulder.

I was busted!!!

By the time I snapped my eyes open, Slinky Sam was nowhere to be found.

You laugh so hard you fall to the floor and roll around. "I told you so!"

Yeah, and honestly, I don't blame ya! That weed-smoking escapade was the last straw for my parents. I got expelled from middle school and three weeks later, I found myself on a plane nosing its way to Nigeria, West-AFRICA!!!

You betcha! I'll be back with more, so hang around!

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta

How to purchase this novel:

1. From Amazon.com

2. From the publisher

3. Buy in Nigeria

For more information, excerpts, and reviews of the FEDDIE GIRL novel, visit Bernard Books Publishing

Jeez! How was I to know?

2009-04-11T00:54:00.004-04:00

You’ve been waiting to hear what I did to merit a punishment as extreme as boarding school in AFRICA of all places. Okay, I’m totally gonna tell you. But bear in mind that this happened a long time ago, like when I was twelve.

At that time, I guess I must have been a really frustrated kid, full of angst and bitterness at the failing relationship between my parents.
How was I to know, at that time, that trying to be a punk was not the best of solutions to an impending family divorce?

I was only twelve–duh!!

How was I to know that by letting my rage overtake me, I was gonna hurt other people and myself?
Really, how was I to know???
Guess I learned the hard way.

Okay so you still wanna know what I did?

“Spill the beans, Carlotta,” you reply, ready for gossip.

Okey-dokie. But remember, you asked for it!!! Lol!!!

*******

I hated the two kids. They were about half my age, skinny, and obnoxious as hell. They had tiny little noses that seemed turned-up at the end, almost snobbish.

They never shut up, especially the female. She had this annoying way of chanting in a high-pitched voice each time she crossed my path:

“Car-lot-ta! Car-lot-ta!! Carrr-llooot-ttaaaa!!!”

“Enough, already!” I snapped at her one morning. I was in a particularly sore mood and didn’t care much for being pestered.

The li’l kid, wouldn’t listen, she kept chanting.

“I said, stop it!” I yelled at her, “or I’m gonna bust your butt!”

The girl shut up at once. There was a moment of glorious quietness, before her male counterpart blurted:

“Watcha gonna do? Car-lot-ta, watcha gonna do?”

I’m gonna totally bust you up, that’s what. “Stop it this minute,” I ordered.

The boy ignored me. I hate being ignored.

His female partner-in-crime joined in again, and this time, she made the mistake of poking me in the chest while she chanted with renewed vigor.

That did it! I lost my temper!

First, I caught hold of one and landed her a resounding blow straight across the cheek. Smack!
Dazed, she fell back and let up. The male wasn’t as easy to deal with. Scrawny legs kicking, little arms flailing, sharp voice wailing; he grabbed my arm and began to pummel with his free hand.

With him I took my time. One accurately measured blow to the side of his chest leveled him.
The female jumped to her feet and charged like a suicidal bull, blindly throwing herself into my stomach. I peeled her off me and smacked her across the face. Again!

She wouldn’t be dislodged that easily.

So I leveled her like I did her mate, landing one extra blow to make sure she stayed down. I considered leaving them there, prone as dead logs, but thought better of it. A ring of excited onlookers had formed around us.

“Here is to the silly taunts on the bus every morning,” I spat. With each word, I kicked-out at the two helpless beings, drawing an extended cry of agony from them.

Finally, I stopped kicking and stood there, heaving with fury, staring down at the two six-year olds I almost reduced to pulps of flesh.
I turned to leave. A path cleared within the ring of other students staring back at me in horror.

One boy hooted and several others joined in. Soon they were booing and chanting and running to go find a teacher. Any teacher. And the school nurse.
The injured six-year-olds lay there on the ground, groaning and crying.

“Did I feel sorry for them?” you ask, shocked beyond belief.

Well, to tell you the truth, I felt kinda satisfied. The two punks had it coming. They certainly did.

And it was totally their own fault.

How to purchase this novel:

1. Buy from Amazon.com

2. Buy from the publisher

3. Buy in Nigeria

For more info, excerpts and reviews of this novel, visit Bernard Books Publishing

Stuff about me...

2009-04-09T18:21:00.003-04:00

So, I am the only child in my family–can’t say whether this is good or bad, but that’s just the way it is.

My dad’s name is Richard, and like I said before, he is a physician. He’s really tall (like, above six feet), dark and handsome. When people meet him these days, they keep saying he looks like Barack Obama!!! Lol!!! I guess they’re kinda right, after all, my dad, like our dear Mr. President, is a half-breed too. His dad (my grandfather) is from somewhere in Anambra State, Nigeria (I think it’s Neewi, Newwi, or somethin’ like that. Can’t remember the spelling!! Lol!!). My dad’s mom is from Gainesville, Georgia. Great match for the two of them, I must say, even though I never met them!!! How often do you get to have a Nigerian for a granddad and a totally white mom for a grandma? Totally cool, right?

My mom is an English Professor (Ph.D.) and her parents are both from Georgia. Now, them, I got to meet, but can’t remember. I was like two or three when they both passed on. What a bummer!!! My mom is quite tall for a woman and very prim and proper. Her name is Shelley, but she should have been called Margaret or somethin’ like that, cos she always gets on my case. Arrggh!!!

Okay, for the gist you’ve all been waiting for…

Sometimes, I wonder how or why my parents stuck together with each other for so long. Maybe it’s because of me…but I still wonder.

You see, my mom is a recovering alcoholic. Yeah, that means no booze in the house. Did you just say, “Hey, that sucks??!!” Well can’t blame ya! That’s the way things are at home. No booze, no beer, no nothin’ (Another reason I can’t host parties at home. Lol!!!). So, she had managed to stay clean for a long time never saw her take a drink until I was like, twelve? Thirteen? Oh yes! That would be a few months before my thirteenth birthday.

She tries to hide it, most of the time, but sometimes I can smell the alcohol on her breath. Mostly, my dad would pretend like he doesn’t notice, until she starts slurring her words or hurling stuff across the room (it’s sooo annoying when she does that. No, scary is more like it!!). This doesn’t happen often, though, only when she’s like anxious or totally bummed out about my dad’s promiscuity.

Hah! “Promiscuity?” you scream. Well, that’s what I said, isn’t it?

My dad just diggs young ladies with pretty faces. It’s not like it’s a secret or any thing, he just has this cool way of studying sashaying blondes/brunnettes from under his lashes when he thinks my mom is not looking. But he’s only fooling himself cos I think my mom knows what he’s up to most of the time. She just keeps a stiff face and totally ignores him. Or pretend not to notice.

Gee!! Aren’t they like, good for each other? Yep!! Totally!! A married couple that live together and have totally disgusting vices — one is an alcoholic while the other is a philanderer (right word? Just thought I’d put my mom’s constant hype about learning new words to good use.) But you totally get the idea, right?

Well, don’t get me wrong. My parents may be bummers sometimes, but I totally love ‘em!!! At least, I do right now. Lol!!!

So now you’ve met Dr and Dr Ikedi, my next story will be about why they decided it was worth it to ship their only daughter off to an all-girls boarding school in Africa!!!

Watch out, I’ll be back with more!!!

Lotta luv,

Carlotta

To purchase novel visit Bernard Books Publishing

Whaddya know? Meet my family...

2009-04-08T18:57:00.003-04:00

So, I am the only child in my family–can’t say whether this is good or bad, but that’s just the way it is.

Okay, for the gist you’ve all been waiting for…

Sometimes, I wonder how or why my parents stuck together with each other for so long. Maybe it’s because of me…but I still wonder.

Hah! “Promiscuity?” you scream. Well, that’s what I said, isn’t it?

Well, don’t get me wrong. My parents may be bummers sometimes, but I totally love ‘em!!! At least, I do right now. Lol!!!

So now you’ve met Dr and Dr Ikedi, my next story will be about why they decided it was worth it to ship their only daughter off to an all-girls boarding school in Africa!!!

Watch out, I’ll be back with more!!!

Lotta luv,

Carlotta

To purchase the FEDDIE GIRL novel visit Bernard Books Publishing

Hi, my friendly reminder...

2009-04-08T12:47:00.006-04:00

Hello there,

Have you read my story?

Read excerpts of FEDDIE GIRL, the sizzling international adventure/thriller by Nona David. This novel features me as the major character and is all about my experiences in an all-girls boarding school in Nigeria. It also tells what my family were up to while I was safely tucked out of the way in boarding house. Lol!!!

Ever been to Africa??? No??? Gosh! You need to read this novel. Lol!!!

Actually, that is kinda what this whole blog thingy is about, wouldn’t you say?

Did I hear you say, “Oh, alright, Carlotta, I will reserve a copy of FEDDIE GIRL”? Yep, that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

Anyways, don’t miss this opportunity to read never-before-seen excerpts of this novel and reserve your copy at the publishers site: Bernard Books Publishing. http://bernardbooks.com

You can also drop a line for the author by signing the guest book!!!

See ya,
Carlotta

Excerpt 1 from FEDDIE GIRL, The Novel

2009-04-07T20:29:00.008-04:00

By Nona David

Five minutes later, Carlotta walked into the Sapphire House lobby and the room suddenly became silent. Twenty pairs of eyes turned to stare at her. She bit her lip and looked around at the eager faces deposited everywhere in the room. The faces belonged to students milling around comfortable armchairs arranged to face a wide screen television that was mounted on the wall.

Sandra waved. She stood at a corner with Uche and two other students.

Carlotta waved back and walked to them.

Sandra was thin and shriveled-looking with a large squat nose that dominated most of her facial features. She was dark-skinned and had the kind of face that appeared rough and full of pores—almost like, if you scrubbed hard with a damp cloth, you’d be successful in unearthing a new layer of smoother skin.

Uche, on the other hand, was chubby and jolly, and equipped with a kind face and subtle eyes.

“Hi, girls,” Carlotta said. She looked at the other two girls and couldn’t place them. “I’m Carlotta.”

“This is Yvonne,” Sandra introduced a mousy looking girl, “and this is Emeh,” she finished, indicating the thin girl beside Uche. “They are both in Sapphire-Five.”

“Bonjour,” Emeh said, smiling. “How are you this morning?”

Carlotta nodded. She wasn’t sure the meaning of the first word that Emeh had spoken. “I’m good, thanks.” She smiled back.

“You must be the Feddie Girl the girls in my dorm were talking about last night,” Yvonne squeaked, “they said your parents live in America.” In addition to her appearance, Yvonne possessed a mousy voice.

“Tell me something I don’t already know.” Carlotta shrugged and rolled her eyes.

“Is it true your mother is white? I mean she’s really white, n’est elle pas?” Emeh asked, her wide eyes staring at Carlotta as if she were something from out of space. “Pardon my French,” she quickly added when she noticed Carlotta’s irritated look. “I can’t help myself.”

Emeh had two large front teeth, Carlotta noticed, that kept poking out of her mouth as she spoke. Her looks reminded Carlotta of the stuffed Easter Bunny she had seen in a toy store somewhere.

“Well, although my mom’s totally a white-American, being born in California and all, I really can’t tell you her skin’s white in color, if that’s what you wanna know.”

Carlotta’s mouth showed the hint of a smile. “She’s more of a light-tan, you know,” she said and winked.

The girls laughed.

Carlotta ran her hands through her hair, tossed back her curls and asked, “So, what actually is the deal here? Why are we waiting?”

“We’re waiting for Senior Chidi,” Uche informed her. “She is supposed to assign us our morning duties.”

Carlotta noticed that Uche had something in her hand that looked suspiciously like the brooms she had seen her cousin and aunt use to sweep floors clean back in their home in Lagos State. It looked like a witch’s broomstick that was missing the long handle. It was basically a bunch of thin flexible sticks tied up together at one end. “Why do you need that?” she asked, indicating the broom. She realized that almost every girl in the lobby had one like it, too.

“I don’t know,” Uche’s voice was doubtful. “My Bunkie thought I might be assigned a place to sweep for my morning duty.”

“You must be kidding me. You don’t mean to tell me we are actually expected to work? I mean, really work? Like janitors?” Carlotta asked in an unbelieving tone. “How much are we gonna be paid?”

“Ah non,” Emeh remarked, “you don’t get paid for doing your morning duty.”

“Oh, puhleease, give me a break,” Carlotta scoffed, rolling her eyes. The girl and her French were beginning to get on her nerves. “Why should we be made to work if we aren’t gonna get paid? I totally don’t get it.” She tossed back her hair. “I mean, even if we’re gonna be paid, I still don’t want any part of a janitor’s job.”

“Morning duty,” Sandra corrected.

“Whatever. I still don’t want any part of it,” Carlotta intoned.

“Ah, you don’t understand,” Yvonne wailed, “you have no choice. It’s just like the chores you do at home, you don’t expect payment for them, do you?”

“Really? No choice, huh?” Carlotta gave Yvonne a daring look. “We’ll see about that.” She sniffed. “And as for chores, don’t tell me you guys work at home, too?”
The four girls just stared at her. They tried to make her understand that morning duty meant mandatory work that has to be done every morning. And without reward. They asserted that the school head girl said so herself when she addressed the new students the night before.

Carlotta, who wasn’t used to boarding school systems in Nigeria, and hadn’t paid much attention during the speech, had obviously missed that part. She wondered what other unpleasant surprises lay in store for her.

Just then, the Sapphire House prefect, Chidi Anayo, flanked by two dormitory prefects, walked into the room and stood before the students.

Even in the harsh light of the morning, Carlotta noticed that the house prefect still looked as imposing as ever. She also saw that Chidi had the same pompous air like she had the day before, when she’d ridiculed Carlotta about her age—basically telling Carlotta off for being too old at thirteen to be in JS1, which was a class meant for new students not much older than eleven.

Watching her strut to the front of the room like a majestic peacock, Carlotta instantly felt an intense dislike for the house prefect. She stood still and watched as one of the flanking prefects called names off a list, while Chidi assigned each girl to a duty as her name was called.

Soon, Carlotta heard her name. She walked up to the prefects. “Hi, it’s a great morning today, isn’t it?” she volunteered, with a bright smile. She looked at Chidi but the house prefect appeared not to have noticed or even heard her.

“Sapphire-One windows.” Chidi’s tone was clipped. She dismissed Carlotta with an abrupt wave of her hand.

Carlotta’s face burned. “Stupid bitch,” she muttered under her breath, and made to leave. If there were two things she despised, they would be—being ridiculed, and being ignored.

“Come back here,” a voice commanded.

Carlotta stopped in her tracks. She turned.

Chidi was glaring.

The chattering in the room stopped. The air became electrified. The rest of the new students held their breath and turned to watch.

Carlotta hesitated.

Chidi’s lips tightened against her teeth. “I said you should come back here,” she repeated, this time spitting the words out, one by one, like fiery bullets out of a pistol. There was no mistaking the meaning behind the words.

Carlotta took a deep breath and returned to face the prefects. Her heartbeat accelerated to a new level. She tried hard to swallow her hatred and retain her composure.

“What did you say?” Chidi’s voice was low but very distinct. Her lips barely moved.
Carlotta rolled her eyes and shrugged.

“Don’t you dare roll your eyes at us,” one of the flanking prefects yelled.
Carlotta eyed her with distaste.

Quick as lightening, the prefect’s hand struck out.

Carlotta ducked. The sailing hand missed her head by a mere inch. Her heart beat even faster. Warm blood flooded her neck and face. She wanted to scream and strike back, but instincts told her it was best to remain silent and bide her time.

“What did you say?” Chidi demanded in an ominous voice. Her eyes were hot black coals.

“I didn’t say anything,” Carlotta supplied in a voice that was thick with suppressed rage. Her breath came in short spurts.

“Are you sure?” one of the flanking prefects sneered. “I most definitely heard you say something.”

Carlotta ignored the hammering in her chest and continued to stare into the unblinking coals that were Chidi’s eyes. She was a coiled dangerous snake, ready to strike at the slightest provocation. She imagined the satisfying crunch the bone of Chidi’s jaw would make when her fist finally connected with it and a sense of satisfaction trickled down her spine. The prefect was her archenemy.

The black eyes narrowed. “Don’t you ever, never ever again,“ Chidi hissed. “Now, get lost.”

Carlotta uncoiled, then turned her back to the prefects and strode to the door. When she emerged on the other side, she realized her hands were shaking.

Coming in February, 2010
Advance copies available till September 28th 2009
Reserve your copy now at Bernard Books Publishing!

Hi, Welcome to my world...

2009-04-07T16:51:00.002-04:00

My name is Carlotta Ikedi, better known as Feddie Girl. I am the major character in the FEDDIE GIRL novel by Nona David.

I was born and bred in San Francisco, California, USA, where I spent the first twelve years of my life. Right after my twelfth birthday, my parents thought it would be a good idea to relocate to Owasso, Oklohoma. Dumb, right? I thought so too. Anyways, I spent several months in Oklahoma--and hating every minute of it--before I was shipped-off to boarding school in Nigeria

"Why Nigeria?" you ask? Well, that story will be for another day! Lol!

This blog site is about me and my readers. Basically, this is where you can interact and learn more about me. I will also be featuring short stories about my experiences and adventures in a Nigerian boarding school. Lol!

You can also join my fan page on Facebook!

Hope you're ready to rock with me. Okay, let's have fun!

Lotta luv,

Carlotta