Thursday, October 29, 2009

Review of FEDDIE GIRL (by Wendy Wallach)


Feddie Girl: My Review of a Great New Novel by Nona David

Review Posted by Wendy Wallach to the blog "It's Really Only a Purple World"

I couldn't put it down! Really, who would have thought that a book about a Nigerian boarding school would be so interesting? Yet as you start to read about Carlotta and her bunk mates at the school, you get engrossed not so much with how they are different from typical American teenagers but instead by how similar they really are! The language and syntax were a bit hard to follow at times, but it still read well and I can not wait to get to the next chapter to see what happens.

According to the book, there is another novel due out that follows a parallel story about one of the minor characters and it will be interesting to see what she does with that character arc!

You can buy it at Bernard Books or at Amazon

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL goes on sale this Oct 19th!!!



Advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL, the international adventure/thriller by Nona David goes on sale via bernardbooks.com starting October 19th 2009.

Book Title: FEDDIE GIRL: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigeria Federal School
Author: Nona David
Publication Date: February 2010
Copyright: July 2009
Type: US Trade Paperback
Page No: 400
Price: $19.99 (US); £14.05 (UK); $26.10 (CAN); €18.82 (EUR); $28.80 (AUS); N3298 (NGN)
ISBN: 978-0-9824526-0-8
SAN: 858-2041
Status: Advance copies available for purchase
Deals: Free Shipping and handling till Dec 31st 2009 when purchased from Publisher.

Read Excerpts

Buy from Publisher

Buy From Amazon

Wholesalers, Distributors, and Bookstores:
Please contact James Downer at james.downer@bernardbooks.com for more information

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Reminder: Reserve your copy of FEDDIE GIRL

Hey all,

If you still haven't reserved your copy of FEDDIE GIRL the Nigerian-Federal/boarding-School novel by Nona David, now is the time to do so. You only have four days left!!!

Advance copy availability would be by reservation only.
Reservation deadline is on Oct 12 2009.
Sales of reserved copies commence on Oct 19 2009 via the publisher's website at https://bernardbooks.com
Free shipping and handling to any location in the world offered till Dec 31 2009.

To reserve a copy please go to: https://bernardbooks.com/form.html

Read excerpts of this novel at: https://bernardbooks.com/subpage.html


Lotta Luv

Carlotta

Monday, August 3, 2009

Calling for Reviewers to review FEDDIE GIRL


Bernard Books Publishing is now seeking authentic book reviewers to review FEDDIE GIRL, the international women’s adventure/thriller novel by Nona David.


Reviewer Criteria/Qualification:
1. Must have a current website/web blog/magazine column
2. Review must be posted in at least one of the above publications
3. Reviewer must reside within the United States to receive galleys. Residents of other countries please contact for more options.


BOOK PARTICULARS

Title: FEDDIE GIRL
Sub Title: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School
Author: Nona David
Publisher: Bernard Books Publishing

Back Blurb:

Carlotta Ikedi (A.k.a Feddie Girl) has never liked school. Not in California. Not in Oklahoma. When her exasperated parents ship her off to boarding school–in West Africa–Carlotta faces a life, culture, and existence unlike anything she’s ever known.

School rules and regulations, rising bell, lights-out, manual labor, inspections, dining time, prefects, punishments, mean bunkmates, and visiting days–it’s all here. But author Nona David takes Carlotta’s story a step further when her adventure’s lead to unfortunate incidents that threaten to drive her American family into the clutches of infidelity and organized crime.

Boarding school doesn’t get any better than this…

For those who have experienced the boarding school life, the adventures of Feddie Girl will bring those memories crashing back… For anyone else, get ready to see the world as Feddie Girl.

*If interested in reviewing this novel, please contact Joan Peck (joan.peck@bernardbooks.com).
*Galley copies for review will be ready for mailing starting first week of September 2009.
*Publish/release date: February, 2010.
*Read excerpts of the novel HERE
*Reviews provided may be featured on publisher’s website, promotional sites/materials, and on the review/blurb pages of the book.

Sincerely,

Joan Peck (Book Publicist)
joan.peck@bernardbooks.com
www.bernardbooks.com

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Okay, here we go...


All right! All right!!!

I get it now.

Many of you wish to read the novel within the same period in different countries. No different availability dates, no favoritism, etc, etc.

Okey-dokie. So the new dates for release of advance copies of the novel has been shifted to September, 2009.

Those of you who reserved an advance copy and have been waiting since April of 2009, we apologize for the delay–but the majority has spoken. Due to the avalanche of petitions we received in the last several weeks requesting that we postpone the deadline for advance copy reservation as well as synchronize the dates for availability in different countries, we have come up with a solution.

Bernard Books Publishing is therefore pleased to announce that the availability for advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL, the international adventure/thriller by Nona David will be as follows:

Nigeria: September 28th 2009

UK: September 28th 2009

USA: September 28th 2009

This way, everyone in the above countries will the opportunity to read the novel within the same time frame. Hope we are all happy now. However, advance copies will be by reservation only. And reservations can only be placed via the Bernard Books website. CLICK HERE TO RESERVE

Yeah, I know you’re smiling now…

It’s all right, ‘cos I’m happy when you are. :)

Lotta Luv,

Carlotta (A.k.a Feddie Girl)

Monday, July 6, 2009

FEDDIE GIRL!!! So close...


Hey everyone,

We are getting close to the release date of advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL: The Hilarious Adventures of an American Teen in a Nigerian Federal School.

And hang-on, we got a new cover coming too.
You didn't think we were gonna use the same stuff we have blasted on blogs all over the Internet, did you? You actually did? Lol! My bad!
Nah, we got the whole nine yards covered.
New cover, poster, and blurbs would be uploaded on the publisher's site on July 13th. Watch-out!!!

Official release date for the novel is set for February, 2010.


Hey, hold-on!!!

Advance/pre-release copies would be available in three countries as follows:


United States: July 27th, 2009
United Kingdom: July 31st, 2009
Nigeria: August 24th, 2009


Remember, advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL will only be available via bernardbooks.com and only to those lucky few who reserve a copy before July 27th.

Others would have to wait and read the novel after February, 2010. If you don't wanna be one of those slackers who will not get a taste of FEDDIE GIRL until next year, you gotta buckle up and RESERVE AN ADVANCE COPY NOW!

Don't miss-out on this awesome opportunity. Read FEDDIE GIRL six months before the rest of the world!!! LOL!!!

Lotta Luv,
Carlotta

Monday, June 15, 2009

Got Boarding School Slangs???


School slangs?
Whoa! That's like my favorite part of boarding school life.
The good part is, like all groups of people united by a common cause, boarders have slangs that are totally unique to the school they attend.

The uniqueness of school slangs arises mainly from the location of the school and the native language spoken in that location, as well as the ethnicity and background of the students within the school. Let's not forget the hand-me-down slangs that must have been a tradition of the school from the get go. A great example is 'Madam Koi-Koi'. Now, if you haven't heard that one, irrespective of how old your boarding school is or where it is located in Nigeria, then you must be totally... LOL!!!

Slangs are like an unspoken rule: once you become a student of the school, you gotta learn the language and slangs of that school. No two ways about it.

I totally remember the first time my bunk mate referred to me as 'Bunkie'.
I was like, hold on... what was that?
Then there was the day a senior girl in my dorm threatened a junior student by telling her she was 'done for'.
Yeah right... please, mind defining that for me?
What about when someone asks you to go find their 'neighbor'?
Or when an announcement like this is made in the dining hall: "All 'meant-to's' should see me after siesta"?

So, after spending just three days in a boarding school, I began to think that each school should like, have a kind of dictionary that explains these slangs to new students. You know, sorta like a Slangotionary or something. LOL!!!

Seriously, wouldn't this make life easier for the new junior students?
Imagine having to figure out on your own what each slang means, or the consequences of mixing-up two like-sounding slangs, but with totally different meanings? i.e 'Pass' and 'Paas'. Totally un-cool huh?
So you can imagine how embarrassed I felt, when one day, I blurted out, "She banged her teacher!" when I actually meant, "She failed her teacher!".
Well, who would blame me? How was I to know that it was okay to use the slang 'bang' to connote 'fail', but only in terms of tests and exams. When used in the context of human to human relations, then 'bang' totally means something else.
Trust me, I got in a lot of trouble for that one. I had to learn the hard way--great way to go, huh?

The annoying part is that the older students always refuse to define the slangs for you when you ask them.
For instance, someone darts into the dormitory and declares, "You need to get a load of the kind atta that obtained me in Physics practicals today."
You ask, "What does 'atta' mean?"
And they reply, "Go and find out for yourself."
Gee thanks! If I could, I wouldn't be asking.

Anyways, it's all good, cos the average time for imbibing school slangs for any level-headed and minimally observant junior girl is three weeks. The 'ogba-mbo's' and 'efficienco's' usually pick them up in a few days flat.
Don't ask me what those mean. Cos if you do, I'd say, "Go and find out for yourself!" LOL!!!

Just so I don't sound like a total block-head, I've come up with a few slangs that are totally part of the slangotionary for my school.
Here they are in alphabetical order:

Barbie dolls: Girls who are pretty and rich, and usually very full of themselves. E.g. Did you see the expensive sunglasses that Barbie doll had on in class yesterday?

Been-to's: Students who have visited foreign nations like the UK and US. E.g. She now regards herself as a been-to, just because she managed to spend two days in London last hols.

Bubble girls: Students who are famous, especially due to their social skills. E.g. Everyone wants to be like that Bubble girl over there--she displays the coolest dance steps on stage.

Floater: Clueless students who seem to never be able to get the gist of what's on board. E.g. If you still don't get what this blog is all about, then you are a major floater.

Floor-members: Students in a senior class who are not prefects but are at the same class level as school prefects. E.g Your Bunkie is a floor member, so you don't have to obey all school rules to the letter.

Kabashers: Students who are religious fanatics and often known for their penchant to pray loudly anywhere at all manners of day or night. E.g. Someone should please tell that Kabasher to tone it down and let us get some sleep!

Meant-to's: Students who are repeating a class and are, therefore, meant to be in a higher class level otherwise. E.g. There is a meant-to in our class. Should we also put her name down for noise-making?

Princy: The school principal. E.g. This one is self-explanatory--Princy said so herself.

Subsidy: This term is used for identifying dormitory prefect. E.g. The subsidy in my dorm punished me for tardiness.

Transits: Students who transferred form a different school. E.g The transit in our class was formerly a day-student in another school.

Witchy: Being very mean; as in one who is wicked and unkind. E.g. She's such a witchy student, please have nothing to do with her.

Yacker: Someone who talks too much without making much sense. E.g. Please shut-up--you're just a miserable yacker.

Okay, that's it for now, but feel free to include yours. Remember, each school has its own unique slangs, so it will be great to have your versions of the above. LOL!!!

Lotta Luv,
Carlotta

Read excerpts of the FEDDIE GIRL novel HERE and RESERVE A COPY.
The novel will be available on the PUBLISHER'S SITE starting this July. Availability will be by reservation only.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Uh-uh... A Typical Class Day!!!



Hi all,
This is an excerpt from the actual novel, FEDDIE GIRL by Nona David. Advance copies of the novel will be released this July, but availability will be by reservation only. Click HERE to reserve copies.


ENJOY THE SNEAK PEEK!

The next morning dawned bright and clear, but Carlotta was apprehensive in the presence of her new classmates.

Having to attend a girls’ boarding school in a foreign country was not too bad. But, what Carlotta loathed about school period was the deafening and head aching quarrels her classmates indulged in when there was no teacher in the classroom.

It was only 8:45 AM and, already, the JS1D students were at it again. This time, they were bickering and fighting one another about what cities and towns in Nigeria had the best residential areas. When words weren’t enough, they resorted to throwing missiles in the form of books, combs, and school sandals.

As if anyone cares where others grew up, Carlotta thought, feeling miserable. She’d lived her whole life in the United States and hadn’t been able to do a thing about it when her parents decided to ship her off to a boarding school in Nigeria as punishment for getting expelled from middle school.

The noise was making her head hurt. Carlotta depressed her vibrating eyeballs with the heel of her palms, hoping to keep them from falling out of their sockets. She was wondering how the girls were able to keep up such a racket, when a particularly loud bang surprised her into snapping her eyes open.

A furious looking male teacher stood at the classroom door.

The students stopped fighting at once. The screeching was cut off from the throats of two students—like a raging fire abruptly doused with water. One final sandal arched high above the heads of the students and landed squarely in the middle of the blackboard with a loud thud, then skidded mournfully down to the ground. Several girls scuttled back to their seats. Ndidi and her cohorts scrambled down from their lockers.

When all was calm, the class stared sheepishly at the dark male teacher leaning against the doorframe.

The teacher considered them for a while, his handsome face devoid of expression. Without much show of annoyance, he strolled into the classroom and stood before the students. “I am not going to inquire as to the cause of the noise,” he declared, “but this is a classroom, and it is time for my lesson.” He walked over to the blackboard and picked up the lone sandal. “Who lost this?” he asked in a scathing tone, holding the rubber footwear aloft by the tips of his forefinger and thumb, dangling it like an offending rodent for the whole class to see.

A chubby girl walked up to him like one would to a dangerous dog. “Please sir, it’s mine,” she breathed, and held out her hand for the shoe.

The teacher cast her a wary eye, snorted, and dropped the sandal in her hand.

The girl clutched the shoe and scurried back to her seat.

The teacher sneered then turned abruptly and picked up the duster. With a swift swipe of his left hand, he wiped the board clean. His right hand moved with lightening speed as he wrote the word mathematics on the board with a piece of white chalk. He whirled around in one fluid motion and began to teach.

The teacher’s movements seemed so effortless; his actions— electrifying; voice—spellbinding.

There was no beep from the class during the entire lesson. The students were caught up in the fast paced action of his teaching. They watched in fascination as he stabbed and slashed at the blackboard with the chalk, whipping-up seemingly intoxicating mathematical symbols and equations from thin air.

The math teacher was the performer; the mesmerized class his spectator.

Not until the bell rang did Carlotta realize she hadn’t grasped a thing out of the lesson.

The math teacher had raced through his lesson in a well-meaning tactic to revise the basic math skills he believed the class should have already acquired. He had breezed through even and odd numbers and the rules of addition and subtraction. After those came multiplication and division. Then types of fractions. Simple proportions. Percentages. Finally, it had come to algebra and the real lesson had commenced.

The math teacher had sauntered out of the class as soon as the bell rang, leaving an awed class behind him. He hadn’t even bothered to introduce himself.

A stunned silence followed the teacher’s departure until someone broke the spell by saying,

“Please, what was his name?”

“Mr. Wesley Iorshimbe-Ngongngong,” another offered.

“Mr. Wesley what?” a different girl quipped.

“Wesley Snipes!” Joyce snapped at the girl. “Kai, are you deaf?”

The girl gave Joyce a reproachful look. “Please allow me oh, the man’s name has k-leg, abeg.”

Another student admonished Joyce. “Yes oh, allow her. I’m sure that even you can’t pronounce the name sef.”

Nelly laughed and shook her head. “Come to think of it, that Mathematics teacher is a real Snipes.” She jumped to her feet, her eyes shinning with mischief. She couldn’t stop laughing. “Wait oh, he even looks like the real Wesley Snipes.” She stopped to catch her breath.

Several girls laughed, too.

That opened the floodgates. In excited tones, the students compared the math teacher’s movements to that of Wesley Snipes’ ingenious stunts in the ‘Blade’ movies. They got so wrapped-up in their stories they lost track of time, until Rosemary the class prefect announced in dismay,

“You girls, it’s time for integrated science, and it says here on the time-table that we are supposed to go to the biology lab for the lesson.”

They were already six minutes late. Lockers were opened and banged as the students reached for their science text and notebooks. In a flash, most of them were out the door.

“Biology lab, Carlotta. Let’s go,” Ossie apprised. She picked up her books, shut her desk with a bang, and ran for the door.

“Hey, wait up!” Carlotta called to Ossie, “I dunno where to find the biology lab!” In a rush, she grabbed a heavy textbook she assumed was for integrated science, and bolted out the door after her classmates.

Coming in February, 2010
Advance copies available till September 28th 2009
Reserve your copy now!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Senior Chidi, what have you got with me?


While in boarding school, ever been in the situation where you feel like a senior girl is totally out to get you and deal with you? It's like, whatever you do, you always end-up in trouble with the same senior girl?

Yeah, I've totally been there. In my case, her name is Senior Chidinma, and she also happens to be the house prefect of my house.

The first time I met her, I knew there was just something about her that wasn't right. Don't get me wrong, she's not sick in the head or anything like that. It's just that she's -- weird. Kinda sinister internally. I mean, she looks okay, very pretty on the outside, but I'm sure if you were to take a knife to her chest, you'll probably be looking at a black stone embedded right there in place of a heart.

Lol!

I'm not gonna be all righteous and pretend like I've never had my share of wickedness as a kid, believe me, I have. But Senior Chidinma's attitude takes wickedness to a whole new level. Maybe it's just me who see her that way. The first time I looked into her eyes, I felt chills creep up my back. The girl has no eyes. What she has are marbles. Cold black marbles.

Needless to say, my path crossed hers a few times, and it was from her I learned there were ways to deal with someone without laying a finger on them. If you've ever knelt on the rough ground for three straight hours with your arms extended at ninety degree angles on either side of you, then you'd get what I'm saying. Imagine! Before boarding school, the meanest punishment I'd ever been given was being grounded for two weeks. So, go figure.

Senior Chidi always seemed to materialize each time I do something wrong. I don't know how she totally does that. She just sorta -- appears. Just like that! Whoooo!!! And she's not one to ease-off on the punishments. You should see her meting them out. It's like her favorite pastimes are assigning morning duties and ordering students about before Saturday morning inspections. Well, I guess that's why she was made the house prefect. Kudos to her! Bummer for us!

So one evening, I was leaving the dining hall with my friend, on our way to class for night prep. It wasn't actually time for prep, we still had a few minutes before the bell was supposed to go off. So my friend and I kinda dawdled for a while, you know, just bonding and talking about stuff. Then all of sudden, what did I hear?

"Feddie Girl, come here!"

I turn around and what do you know? Senior Chidi was a little way ahead, glaring at me with those black marbles. I swallowed down the creeping chills, dismissed my friend and start to make my way to her.

"Start running!" she ordered.

There was only a few feet separating us. Why should I run, when I can cover the distance as quickly in a few long strides. So, I quickened my steps and got to her in like three seconds. Guess what she said?

"Go back to where you were and run from there to here!"

Seriously? Is she kidding? Well, I guess not, cos she made me repeat the whole process like a dozen times before she was satisfied. By then, I was already a slobbering panting mess. I also puked all the dinner I ate that evening. You'd think she would stop there won't you?

No way! Not Senior Chidinma.

She made me kneel for an hour and a half with a heavy book on my head. Then she made me scrub half a dozen bathrooms until they shone and sparkled. That's not all. The next afternoon she made me clean several pots and sweep several classrooms. By the time the punishment was over, I was ready to pack my bags and call it quits.

So, please, remind me again. What was it I did to merit the punishment in the first place?

Senior Chidi, what have you got with me?

FEDDIE GIRL, novel by Nona David. Coming this July to Bernard Books Publishing. Read excerpts and reserve a copy.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Remember old boarding school songs?


Boarding school holds some bittersweet memories for most of us. Yet there were some students who just couldn’t bear the strain and bailed-out after their first term, or first year, or even after three years.
For those die-hards who endured the rigors and pains of boarding school life for six whole years, I defer to you! Trust me, it’s not an easy feat to achieve. Sometimes when the going gets tough, students resort to pouring their sorrows into songs. It sorta helps lighten the burden and ease the heart.
There are some songs that no matter where you are, they just remind you of boarding school.
Like this one that is mainly sung when students are running low on supplies:

My dear mother;
I am very sorry;
For writing this letter;
Please buy me sugar, and butter, and bournvita.


There is this one for when SS3 students are ready to graduate:

Everyday senior, senior; Everyday senior, senior;
Senior don’t forget us, your junior ones are crying;
Senior don’t forget us, your junior ones are weeping;
We don’t know what to do, We don’t know what to do;
It is a pity and very painful that our seniors are leaving us;
We don’t know what to do, we don’t know what to do.


Also, an old one, but I’m not sure which school is it’s source, but we sure did sing it a lot:

Booze garri, Booze garri;
In the house;
Add some sugar;
Add some milk;
Add some water;
Garri in the morning, afternoon and night;
Garri gives you energy, makes you feel all right;
Booze garri!

There is this other one that comes with several variations:

Give me a heartbeat: Mm-mm!
Give me a sneeze: At-choo!
Give me a cough: U-huh, u-huh!
All together: Mm-mm, at-choo, u-huh u-huh!
Give it to me one more time: At-choo, u-huh, mm-mm!


There must be many more, so if you remember any, please feel free to post it here. Thanks!
Let’s keep the torch burning high and bright, for there’s no other experience like that of boarding school life.

Lotta Luv,
Carlotta

Advance copies of FEDDIE GIRL the novel are coming this July. Copies will be available by reservation only. Go to Bernard Books Publishing to reserve your copy now!